Rhodonite, sort of like Garnet–I love stones! (crystals) My mother did too. She’d often pull along side the road to pick up a stone to examine the treasure closely. My brother and I got used to the feeling of the car jerking over to the shoulder of the road—bump, bump, bump. She’s going to get (yet) another stone@! Part of my childhood that drew my attention to them in the first place. She was as excited (or more) than the rest of the world about the Moon Rock that the astronauts brought back with them, eventually making the trip to see it at the Smithsonian. Actually touching a real Moon Rock–huge! Anyway, thanks mom for reminding me of my connection with rocks and crystals at such an early age–she was a rock hound for sure!
Like many others, Rhodolite is thought to help with intuition and aiding with meditation and channeling. I’m revisiting the crystal kingdom and realizing that many of my personal collection of crystals aid with the psychic work that I do–tools of the trade. I was drawn to the crystal to purchase — or did the crystal select me like the wand chooses the witch or wizard. Moot point really. Anyway, my crystal book says that rhodonite is known as “the stone of inspiration”. Every psychic should own one!
PS–don’t mistake rhodonite for rose quartz because of the pink color (some people do); rhodonite usually has gray with it.
Last evening after a ‘house-tidy’ and a glance at the bills and monies, that last part tickled and awakened ‘the familiars’ that rest in the stomach pit area; and while they are definitely weakening as I age, they don’t seem to cease entirely. And maybe they never will. I’ve learned to live with their now-and-again visits, those familiars!
What do those fear-familiars want? I think to be acknowledged, recognized for the purpose of deeper realization and awakening.
“Okay”, I say, “but just for a little while and then I’m going out the door for a walk.”
I knew it would work–the walk. That was my intuition, my inner guide making that known.
It was a brisk, windy October night and it could not have been clearer to me that I needed to walk out the door after I dealt with them.
I think it was teacher Ajahn Chah who said that it is okay to get some control of where your mind goes by shouting at yourself. I’m not into that exactly, but I get the point he was trying to make about discipline of the mind–in fact I’ve been writing about that in my blog and newsletter lately.
What’s the point of being here in this reality in these (many times) trying circumstances? And don’t’ forget we have beautiful experiences too which balance them out. And actually the idea overall or what is recommended by the spiritual teachers is to take neither polarity too seriously, meaning the good or the bad–not getting attached to either one. Good times, bad times—attach to neither.
Oh, here’s another example. For instance, we can take love and hate–those polarities too. We suffer if we attach too greedily to either emotion. If we attach excessively to family, lovers and friends, when there is death or change (and there inevitably is—remember about impermanence?), this turns to suffering. So that’s what I mean. Not saying we shouldn’t love one another but not in extreme ways.
Well, getting back to it now…. the point of or purpose of these fear guru’s in our lives (and yes, fear can be our teacher) is to teach us—remind us really because we already know this but forgot—about the impermanence of life and those things that we over-identify with which aren’t real yet when we think they are. And that, in a nutshell, causes our suffering.
For me it always brings me back to the two truths of conventional and ultimate reality–with that understanding the mind becomes comfortable and at peace.
We, in our conversations with our fear, realize that we become attached to seeing our life a certain way and then we become attached to that view, you see? We can explain that to our fears and they say, “Thank you, we simply forgot.”
Circumstances that are difficult help us to awaken; otherwise we would remain in blissful sleep. Life difficulties help us to work through and work out those issues that keep us from developing virtue.
Yeah, and that reminds me of it. Of what? One of my early channeling sessions my communication was spirit involved my question—why are we here? What’s the purpose? And the answer I received seemed too simple then and I nearly discarded it but always kept it on a shelf in my mind and over the years with all my spiritual study and life experience (today I have reached my double 6 birthday, so I have a little of that)… anyway, in all that I’ve studied and lived that answer, being here to develop virtue, makes more-and-more sense. It gets clearer every year—virtue. Like what? Well, patience is a virtue and what are some of the rest?
Well, here’s the great Benjamin Franklin’s list of virtues:
TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
TRANQUILITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
Well that gives you one idea–there are many virtues.
Developing the virtues is basically about being the best human you can be–which isn’t as easy as it sounds. Anyway..,.
Going back to the topic here, let me add that it helps for me to think in terms of the reasons for what is happening; and so then I think difficulties are there to help awaken us to the ultimate reality, otherwise we may never get it.
So my glance at the bills and money situation ultimately caused a moment of remembering and deeper awakening thanks to the tea with the fear gurus.
And then I bounced down the steps and out the door into the night air, breathing deeply into the wind, shaking my shoulders. I shook my head too in order to wobble and jiggle away the tears that had been forming behind the throat and eyes.
I walked into the darkness having another conversation…. this time with my inner guide, my wisdom guru. Although I remained a bit unsteady emotionally for a while, that was further remedied by my guide (after our talk) then suggesting a pop-in surprise visit with my sister and niece. So I walked to their door and knocked. We caught up with things and then ordered pizza (which was not that good for my trim and slim goals) yet was totally and completely soul-satisfying. I must say the Pizza Hut pineapple pizza was excellent and thoroughly enjoyed each bite! So… What’s the moral of the story?
I think that the old seeds and old fear habits are always there, but that’s not “who we are” since essentially there is no self. And because that is so, those seeds and habits are just life being what life is—the nature of human existence.
Our body and emotional nature contain those habits because we are human, but we don’t have to over-identify with it all.
Why? Because ultimately there is no self.
But while we are here in human form we still make efforts to be the best human we can be. How do we do that? Where and when distress appears we do our best to transcend it. It is called transcending the world and destroying delusions.
“No mud, no lotus”—this is a saying that we could translate into “No fear/distress, no awakening”. You disagree? You say your life is nothing but total bliss and you’ve reached enlightenment 24-7? Hmmmm….. give that one a bit more thought because you may be simply asleep. Just sayen’.
Earth living and it’s downers are what keep us having realizations, keep us awake, help us to learn to breathe in and out in the present moment, releasing attachment, aversions, fears. One does get to have time-outs, rest periods, of course; but then it seems to come again for us on deeper levels like peeling layers of an onion.
Don’t get too full of ego and mistake the rest and recovery period for enlightenment–through observation it seems to me that the universe loves nothing more than to crush smug ego’s.
Maybe that’s why those ‘familiars’ don’t seem to completely ever go away, they’re always there lurking–to help us stay aware, remain humble, and so that we do not fall into lazy patterns (see above paragraph).
But none of this is who I am… the “I AM” that is beyond, beyond, completely beyond just observes this and smiles.
Further, I don’t need to become attached either way and that’s where the peace is located–in that place of non-attachment.
No aversion, no attraction.
Yes, yes, we have to deal with that which everyone else (and a part of us) agrees is conventionally real, but ultimately none of it exists. Outwardly we have to agree; after all, when my rent is due (which is the thought that started this blog post!), I cannot go into the rental office to tell the Lords of the Land that ultimately neither they, nor I, nor the apartment itself exists and therefore, I don’t need to pay my rent. Outwardly I have to agree, but inwardly I know the truth. That’s the “pickle” (as the saying goes) that many of us light-workers (as they call us) live within.
Fear guru’s help us to remember these things. My personal fear guru? Oh, he’s much gentler and kinder than he used to be; but still I don’t like his presence at any time whatsoever! Yet, the tea and cookie that I give him and little talk we have seems to comfort him (and me too-wink!) so that then we can resume the life-game here with greater ease!
Let the games begin!—that is what I say to myself when I wake up in the morning sometimes, mostly when I’m not so afraid.
Who I AM is really quite like that image of the lone fairy on the beach there.
I am here alone, was born alone and will die alone—as we all do. My work is the same way—I work alone and my work is my own creation and I say that with a grain of salt because my work is in harmony, I feel, with higher forces under whose guidance the psychic course was created. And from scratch mind you. If you have an independent entrepreneurial nature too, then you will relate to my story.
I had minimal training and then through the force of life found myself with $6 in my pocket and no money in the bank, no credit and only my car and one small suitcase. And it was from that level that I began to do readings to support myself and to keep the wolves away from my door, so-to-speak.
It is channeled—the whole thing and it is a creation of a bare, pure spirit turned to the Moon and Stars and Night Sky for help and guidance and inspiration. That last word is the best—inspiration. I breathed in the Moon, Stars and Sky and the psychic course came out because it was created from my own journey and my own life experiences woven through and through.
It has been online available to nourish others who seek it out while the income continues to support me and keep the wolves away from my door—a door that I am grateful to live behind and for which I am ever grateful. Shelter, clothes, food and the basic essentials and the ability to keep sharing as inspiration comes to me—this is the cornerstone of my life.
I love my work and the ability to communicate with students who come to the course and need questions answered. The course stands alone and stands for itself, just as I do and there’s nothing to change or add but I do nurture its growth somewhat by writing a weekly newsletter to support the students and also for the general public.
The Moon and Stars and Sky still inspire me in this way; yet I’m called in an additional direction for the past… well, since my last astrologically progressed New Moon (January 2008). And that direction is astrology itself. Just last night, in fact, while revisiting Brady’s book on Transits and Progressions, I saw notes I made in the margins dating back to 2007. Really? I was a bit surprised at how long I’d been studying astrology! I began to get more or less serious about it when I bought Brady’s book and a number of others at that time; yet my study of astrology goes back even further. It is said that whatever is started at the new moon represents that next 28 to 29 year phase and that there’s no going back to anything after the New Moon projects are begun—and they seriously began then.
The psychic class is fully established and growing in popularity and perhaps because of this people who want to jump in and on the bandwagon seem to be crawling out of the woodwork lately. I’ve had solicitations from people who want to advertise on my website, others who want to personally mentor my students and take over the group to practice their leadership skills (Really? Go get your own group!) and by the way can you imagine that? And there are others who want me to take all my students and hire them to work for me and make money off their labors and oh, by the way those others will take commission and I just turn over my creations to them. Are you kidding me? And then we have those who want to be my personal secretary and write my newsletters for me and take my calls and schedule my appointments—you can’t be serious!
(More on this later but Neptune transiting through my 7th House –and that will make sense for those familiar with astrology.)
Strangely, it feels like I’ve been in this place before where the vulchers come to feed off my creations. It all shows up in my various charts—return charts as well as transits and progressions—the same theme is there right now.
On a soul level, the polarity point to my Pluto is the 6th house and this area of life relates to using discernment or not being blindly trusting that everyone’s intentions are wholly altruistic – a mistake in naiveté that I’ve made in past life associations.
Anyway, getting current…. combining intuitive faculties with soul astrology is where I am being called to put my energy in addition to renewing relationship connections with my family since my relocation.
The psychic class is my most joyful creation aside from my children—both of which originate from beyond my meager personal existence of which I am only a part but all do bear my name. And speaking of bear (or bears), I’ve had the bear totem showing up everywhere in my life lately but then again the Sun is making a conjunction to my natal Pluto right now and that combo sort of reminds me of bear energy.
Mama bears protect their babies the same way that I feel protective about my reputation, career and creations in the world—it’s an ‘energy thing’ if you get my meaning. So I’ve got to keep an eye out for those vulchers who seem to be everywhere lately.
Rob Hand (famous astrologer) talks about Nefarious Neptune in the 7th house of what the old astrologers call “the house of open enemies” as people who try to deceive you and/or misrepresent themselves. Yeah, well, let’s not be paranoid but by the same token let’s not be blind to that possibility either. When Neptune crosses through the 7th, one must use care not to be duped by others if you know what I mean; that’s all I’m sayen’. And according to Rob, avoid partnering up with anyone.
I’ve never been one to partner up with others anyway except for my 20 year marriage; but even in that, with Aquarius on the cusp of the 7th (and yes, his Sun was in Aquarius), I was still pretty much a loner even in the marriage. I’m independent and respect others who are independent as well–he was.
I love teaching and helping others but I don’t wish to partner up with anyone in my work or in my personal life and that’s how I’m wired and I don’t resist my own nature.
Yeah, so anyway this is a blog and blah, blah, blah here I go again using this as a place to vent a bit. But the deeper motivation with this blog is to explain myself – even if it seems that I am trying to explain me to my self (and maybe that’s so) it is this that motivated this post today.
Well, it was the picture of the fairy that motivated me along with the recent patterns with my work that I’m noting and responding to the best I can.
And with that said, I’ll bet many of you entrepreneur-types who come across these words and who have created your own work, your own niche, will get where I’m coming from.
And just so that the rest of you know, we are not selfish and we are not snobs and we care deeply and what we do is our soul, our blood, and yes sweat and tears and before I start singing songs again…
♫ “… spinning wheel got to go round… ♫catch a painted pony, let the spinning wheel spin… ♫you got no money, you got no home, spinning wheel, spinning all alone… ♫ —See? There I go again!
Let me end this with a post that I made on the Facebook today that, I feel, says it all…..
I am a dance teacher (in a way) and I love the dance and I love to dance and I love to see other people dance and the dance is what I’m all about but…
“Do the dance that you’ve been shown until the dance becomes your very own. Meanwhile, get off my toes!” –Joy Star, said with humor and love!