My Grand Cross April 2014 Freedom | Housing | Family | Power

photo Joy with Grandchildren
Joy with Grandchildren this past weekend

Yeah, really? seriously?  Wasn’t I just changing babies diapers the other day?  How could this be happening to ‘me’?  I don’t think of myself this way but being the good girl scout, looking ahead to be prepared, I see myself doing just what my own mother (God rest her soul–as they say) did when she was… well, yeah, I think right about my same age.  She found herself a place to live with others of her generation on her limited income and (cat out of the bag here), I’m doing the same thing right now.  I’m too early and way too young for this right?  Probably not; but LO! it’s taxing filling out all those forms and trying to figure it all out.  Which way to go? Which decision to make, while at the same time feeling completely at the mercy of the odds.  There’s not many ways to go actually. You just fill out the forms and pray you can manage until you move up on the list–and until the odds are in your favor, try to survive.

“May the odds be ever in your favor”–Hunger Games.

Well, anyway Cancer Capricorn is part of that grand cross with Aries Libra.  Yeah, there are the planets in those signs of course but let’s just think a minute about Capricorn/Cancer.  Sort of strange how those merge isn’t it? Capricorn (age) and Cancer (the baby/the child).

Isn’t it as we age that we become more childlike?  Think of (oh, do we have to?) those “adult day care centers”–I can’t believe they actually call them that!  That’s a perfect example of the merging of Capricorn (old) and Cancer (baby).  I just realized that just typed “old baby” and I’m about to gross myself out here and maybe you too reader!

And of course wouldn’t you know this grand cross is triggering my 5th and 11th houses and the 2nd and 8th.  Issues with the community, with my children, with my money and the money of others.  Yeah, that’s how it’s all playing out in my life–those areas are being triggered.

And it’s culminating, about to hit the fan as the saying goes.  Well, eventually I’m going to need some help and so I’m lining it up here–that’s just me facing old age even though I kick my legs and swing my arms in the pool as often as I can to stay young.  Yet, I’m falling into my mother’s footsteps to find a community of people my age where income is adjusted to what’s fair and reasonable.  I’m not like these younger adults with  a big corporate entity backing me up with a big paycheck every week; it’s just me out here mother/father god; just little ole’ me.  And maybe I’m delusional but I do deeply believe that I am employed by that unseen force that helps me to help others when I do psychic readings, counseling and astrology.  I’ve got a few calls into the ‘big boss’ if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, I see some synchronicity–well, a good bit of it if I’m going to be fair in my blogging accounts.  I found out about help that came about in just that way serendipity, coincidence or whatever you’d like to call it–the path was shown and I’ve been following it and getting more and more direction and information.  So, I’m being led even though I see several possible outcomes, as if yet there’s no indication as to which one will manifest.  I’m, therefore, in the trust phase; and they don’t call it blind trust for nothen’!

It’s triggering that Aries/Libra thing too (Mar in Libra opposing Uranus in Aries).  I don’t like to ask for help and I want to remain independent and that’s hard especially as we are dealing with my money and other people’s money:  houses 2 and 8.  That’s the other part of the grand cross.

Wanting to be independent and yet needing to ask children and community–why? because I’m getting old and that’s still a hard one to admit since, like I said–it was just the other day that I was the mom of three little girls!

Yeah, and wanting to be rescued is part of that dynamic too.  Right now would be a good time for prince charming to ride in with saddle bags of money or at least a big house!  Not going to happen:  I know my astrology chart pretty well.  Even if it did, I’d very likely be held prisoner and Mars and Uranus would be totally pissed off about that!

For me the dynamic of this Grand Cross is kicking up some family issues and the realization of aging, housing, money for housing (Cancer — Jupiter [money]  in Cancer [home]) and family/freedom issues.  Echoes of my natal node’s soul lessons  actually–what else is new?

And looking up and out the window now I see the most beautiful sunset; the bright pink-orange with the dusty blue-purple.  And I think of the word Trust again and take a deep breath.  I will know which direction I’m going (or if I’m not going at all) by the time I need to know.

Breathing deeply, feeling so alone in this but remembering I’m not.

I’ve got a partner in spirit world helping and I don’t do anything alone.  Neither do you reader–we’re not alone, we have helpers and guides showing us the next step or keeping us from stepping at all. 

Blind trust; that’s all we need.  Again. And don’t expect anyone to be able to really understand; in fact, don’t seek to be understood–not this month.  Mars and Uranus are very independent and their both very active right now!  Just breathe.

(By the way, they [more adept astrologers than me] say this transit will stay intense through May.  That’s when I must decide about renewing my lease–not surprised about the timing.)

Our Life Purpose

Photo of Joy and Grandson
Joy and Grandson

In my last blog post I mentioned this whole VIRTUE business–developing virtue is why we’re here, the life purpose.

Oh, and you thought you were here to save the world?  Well, maybe you are–who am I to say different.

But you know we tend to pause and take inventory at certain times in life.

One time can be when we’re afraid or fearful but there’s birthdays, New Years, anniversaries and those types of markers.

I did that the other day while I was considering this whole virtue thing and realized that while we may not have created monetary or material wealth, there are other types of achievements–virtue is one.

Spirituality and morality are field levelers–a poor person can practice spirituality the same as the rich.

The good that is established in our life (even if we struggle from time to time to achieve it) will shine on.

Our good, the virtue we have created, will not be wasted–it will remain in the world even after we have dropped the physical body and moved into spirit.

Virtue does not die.

It is something our children and grandchildren can carry on, and when others meet our children, our family or when others see anything or anyone (for that matter) that was connected with us, they will think about us and maybe in those thoughts of us even feel happy.

[  The photo with this blog post was taken October 13, 2013 on my 66th birthday–me with my grandson.  ]

Bridezilla, Kid-zilla and finding Peace in the Hurricane of Humanity! What’s going on with Mom’s and Kids these days?

Yeah, well there it is—Truth.  We recognize it when we see it and do our best to live it. 

“We can never make peace in the outer world, until we make peace with ourselves.”  –Dalai Lama 

We tend to want to think of those types of cliché’s on global scales but what we see globally starts with individuals. 

I’ve had some trouble making peace with myself – my psyche has been disturbed as I continually adjust to being around so many humans.  I’ve been a loner in solitude for so long that—well, maybe too long.  I’m in a community now and it is unavoidable—humans are bumping into me left and right and what I’m noticing about children especially is mystifying.

I watch these kids rule over their mothers and the mom’s giving in, caving at the child’s demands.  Further, this lack of respect and abusive behavior of kids toward their mom’s is very disturbing.  I stood in line at a subway sandwich shop late in the day and next to me an overweight little boy (probably around age 9 or 10) demanded extra meat on his sandwich.  She reminded him that they’d previously had a conversation about it and she wasn’t going to “play that game” with him she said.  I was barely noticing their interaction until he raised his voice and to his mother said, “I feel like punching you in the face right now.”  She rubbed his back and said okay that he could have extra meat on his order!  (What?!)

I don’t want to feel the vibes of these types of exchanges–in fact, I recoil but still take it in.  Chaos comes in and peace goes out the window.   I’ve got to do better! 

Earlier yesterday I went to the pool to do my exercise and a little tyke was doing her best to get her mother’s attention and her mother was doing her best to ignore the kid while reading a book!  The exchange that went on for the whole 30 minutes that I was there was… the power plays and manipulations from this little one was pretty astounding climaxed by this 4-year-old telling her mother “We’re going right now” and the mom actually got up and left with the child. 

Later while in a clearance store this 8-year-old is screaming at her mother about a product she wanted arguing for the purchase and the mother simply allowed the back-talk and disrespect!  What in the world is going on with these humans?  I walked to the other side of the store and shortly afterward the same little girl ends up on my aisle and screams, “watch out!”, as she nearly hit me with a shopping cart that was too big and awkward for her to handle.

It was a week ago when an out of control little boy who wreaking havoc at the pool “handled” his mother in a jaw-dropping way.  He was being extremely loud and sassing her at every opportunity until she said to him, “Now you’ve really done it and we’re going to have to leave—get out of the pool.”  He dove under water every time she tried to speak to him until she eventually got into the pool herself and drug him out.  “We’re leaving”, she said.  He threw himself down in a poolside chair and scolded her, “30 seconds!  I will sit here for 30 seconds and then I’m going back in the pool.” 

To my amazement, she agreed to his terms and said, “Okay, but you cannot get up before then and don’t even try!” 

What?  What happened to “We’re leaving”?  He mocks her then over and over about wanting her towel until one of the other mothers gets out of her chair and yells at the unruly child, “Look little boy, don’t talk to your mother that way!”  With this the kid swam off to the other side of the pool for a while but within a few minutes started back toward her direction calling her “fat” and “chubby” and other names equally as demeaning.  What did the mother do?  She ignored him.  I left the pool. 

Certainly I’m noticing these things based on what I’m feeling within me and sometimes, I’ll have to admit, it isn’t exactly peaceful being around others and having to be part of their drama simply going to the pool, walking through a discount store or buying a sandwich!  As a psychic or sensitive, I’m swimming in other people’s energy much more than I’d like to and am still having to grapple with how to do this thing properly—this living in the big city and having so many humans dabbling in my auric field is something I’m not practiced at.  Talk about coming down from the hermitage—the world seems to have totally changed!  What has happened to children’s discipline and respect?  What is going on with these mothers? What kind of parenting relationships are these?

I have to work on my inner peace building techniques if I’m going to be able to hang out around here and function.  Do I need to shore up my boundary?   Do my best to stay out of shock and awe when these kids freak out at their mothers?  Do I focus on having no judgment about what is not my affair while resisting the urge to petition local government to implement some sort of mandatory parenting classes?  Okay, that last one is pretty far out there, I’ll admit.

I even heard the adults at the pool one day talking about how lazy their teenagers are like they have no power over how many hours they lay in bed! 

I think I’m beginning to understand why the T.V. Shows about super nannies are popular.  It seems that on TV we have bride-zilla monsters and kid-zilla monsters too. 

I have to make peace within my own inner heart, mind and soul in order to be able live in a world where peace is not… well, it’s not like living in the forest like I’ve been accustomed to.  I’m still a work in progress (and the parents and children are too) and it seems that I, for one, am being challenged in a new or at least different way to re-establish peace within. 

Ahhh, to be the calm eye of the storm in the middle of the hurricane of humanity…  I’ll get there again.  I’ve just been a bit out of practice!  I remember what I used to do way back when and I will have to do it again–blogging helps me work this all out.  I used to send love–toss out a pillar of light to surround the folks or send a beam of light from my 3rd eye.  Yeah, I remember now… I’d run upstairs (go UP in my mind and heart) and from that point in consciousness send love infused light in the direction of the disturbing force.  It benefits them and me; perhaps you’d like to try it too should you happen run into a kid-zilla with a soft mom out there.  Or if you, like me, just came down off the mountain and rejoined humanity! 

Ending with a Buddhist thought:  May all beings be well with hearts filled with kindness and respect for one another.