Not Enough Time? Life too Scheduled? Adjusting to Change? Lose Your Self Around Others? Dancing to the Tune of the Clock? Wisdom from the I-ching

Calm, Quiet, Slow … Mountain Time

It seems like ages since simply sitting at the keyboard and typing onto my blog has happened… and it has to do with this thing that we call time or our concept of it.  Yeah, it’s bothering me and if you’re a regular reader here, then you know that I work things out here—things that disturb my psyche or ruffle my feathers.  I look for ways to handle these dilemmas, these “pickles” of life, and hope that my post will also help another who finds it or goggles a phrase that shows up here.  Ever since I’ve moved I’ve been dealing with schedules and family itineraries!  It’s like if someone suggests something to do in the future, everyone grabs their appointment calendar to see which day they are free!

Family
LEFT: grandson
TOP TO BOTTOM RIGHT: daughters, sister and daughter, grandaughter, grandson marching band, niece

I’m simply not used to living this way—at least for the past 15 years anyway.  I thought those days were over for me; never did I think that I’d be dancing to the tune of the clock again and certainly not to a school bus or band practice or Friday night football game schedule! 

O, Please–don’t get me wrong, I love being with my grandchildren and daughters–even my sister and niece!  And we love Friday night football; yet I’m sort of ‘over’ driving two nights a week to and from band practice… but anyway….

 It’s just that my life doesn’t seem like my own anymore, but I’m adjusting and my own appointment schedule is being juggled and adjusting too! 

We’re managing.  And everything is getting done; but inside me there’s lots of resistance to this new life! 

I’m working on it though and this blog post is helping me do just THAT today.  And I hope it will help you too in some way.  Anyway…

I know this feeling of being short of time all of the time is mental and emotional and psychological and it’s an energy thing that I’ve gotten pulled into.  I’m trying to pull myself out and having a little bit of difficulty. 

It is true that I have to accommodate my family now whereas before (the past 15 years@!) there was none of that.  I chose to do so and know that it is their energy and the energy of this general vicinity that needs balancing within me. 

You know, people drive so fast around here even in the parking lot of the apartment community and energy of the white rabbit from the Alice in Wonderland story is predominating:  “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, and I’m very, very late…” 

Yeah, I feel that within my own mind and body and it gets reinforced at the start of every new day… “Hi Mom, here’s her breakfast, she has to finish this or that homework, I love you, here’s her lunch box, gotta’ go, I’m late…”   (My granddaughter stays with me in the morning until her bus comes to take her to school and my daughter rushes off to work.)

Again, I love my family and being near them most of the time.  It’s just that I don’t like that hurry-up we’re late feeling and I know it is within me unnecessarily—I carry it too often! 

It’s affecting my usual feelings of peace and ease and I miss the pace of the mountains—the general feeling everywhere was “What’s the hurry?  And besides, if you wanted me to hurry you should have told me about it 3 weeks ago.”

Aaaahhhhh, sometimes I miss that small mountain town but then other times, like last Thursday night, having sushi and seaweed salad at a local Wasabi Restaurant makes me want to jump up and down celebrating being here in civilization!  Oh, there are many things that bring up celebratory feelings about being here—take my grandson for example! 

But then, I digress—my issue involves how to deal with this hurry up feeling that predominates too often and restore the more comfortable and compatible “what’s the hurry?” attitude.

Come to think of it, this has always been my problem in all relationships—whether it is with a person or a city/community!  I am way too taken in by the ‘other’ vibe and loose myself!  Yeah, I could blame it on my Sun/Neptune/Moon natal conjunction or I could use that triple combo to my advantage.  What’z it gonna’ be? 

Whether you’re like me and are sometimes too sensitive for your own good OR NOT, we’ve got to ask the Oracle for guidance.  What can we do? What insight can you give that will help with NOT being pulled into outer energy—how can we maintain our own energy when surrounded by an incompatible vibe 24-7?   

I will turn to the I-ching now to select a coin-combo which will bring us some helpful insight on how to change our attitude about time and hurry-up energy and how NOT to lose our self in the midst of so many ‘others’.  

Well we have Kua 3 (Difficulty in the Beginning) changing to Kua 60 (Limitations).

Let’s open up this guidance. But before we do that, I just want to say that I am enjoying this Saturday morning!  I am undisturbed by duty calling me in any direction and am enjoying the birds visiting my balcony bird feeder.  The trees are only a-small-number-of-feet away from my balcony (some ends of the branches are only a few feet) and I like to pretend that I live in the trees WITH the birds and that I AM one myself!  I did more of that in the early days of my residency here—and realize now that I need to spend more time with that fantasy when I can fit it in! 

Well, to the i-ching…  the changing line in the first Kua advises “doing nothing”  and “taking a breather”.  I really relate to that!  Writing in this blog today is about that very thing.  Kua 3 is about enduring difficult transitions and this move has been such a thing which I am STILL getting used to!  I moved in June and here it is nearing the end of September and the full adjustment has yet to be accomplished!

Here’s an example:  we had a garage sale last weekend in which we all sold items that we simply could not use in our new apartments (my daughter and sister also moved here around the same time I did).  We agreed to donate what did not sell to Goodwill afterward and did.  Several days later, I went there to get a donation receipt that my sister forgot and saw an item from my mountain home.  It was a basket which I had on a porch column and I filled it with different flowers as the season’s changed.  I did not expect to see it and there it was on a shelf in the Goodwill store and suddenly I grieved the death my old life of peace and solitude.  In turning to escape the basket, my eyes landed squarely on ceramic angels that I had along the window sill in the guest bedroom—I called it “The Angel Room”.  I nearly ran out of the store with my heart aching and tears streaming down my face.  Yeah, I’m not fully adjusted to being here yet—“fer’ shuur!”  said the way we used to say it in the 80’s.

So doing nothing and taking a breather this may be a good thing to restore a little bit of balance—that’s the advice (so far) from the i-ching oracle.  This sort of stops the whole time thing from being an issue—I can understand that it would be helpful. 

I had blocked some time out for myself yesterday and actually felt guilty that I didn’t DO something during that time.  Since this small amount of free time is so precious and valuable now, you better DO something special with it… I didn’t and then felt guilty!  I never, ever used to feel guilty about doing nothing before–what gives? 

The oracle speaks of this situation as “strengthening the ability to roll with the punches” –that is what is going on now.  I have to say that bumping into the energy of my old stuff in the Goodwill Store felt like a punch—fer shure.

This is about my ability to deal with difficult transitions—according to the i-ching book for this Kua.  Yeah, I think of death when I hear the word “transition” and actually I did say to my daughter on the ‘Goodwill Day” that my reaction is part of me “grieving over my old life”.  Kua 3 really does relate to this question I’m asking.

The old was dismantled to make way for the new and now that I’m in the new, the adjustments do create certain doubts and vulnerabilities.

Maybe I need to shore up my certainties and do something to feel less vulnerable.  I need to give that some thought.  I do believe that I did the right thing to move; yet I do feel vulnerable and intuitively feel some sort of boundary is needed, somehow, to remedy the vulnerability feeling.  I just don’t know exactly how to achieve that since I seem to have to be the one to accommodate to everyone else’s schedule!

  I find my mind wandering out to future to find a school holiday and to announce to my daughters that I am not available that week—I’ve always wanted to go away to some country that doesn’t celebrate x-Mas during that x-tian holiday anyway!  But I digress.  Let’s see what else the oracle says.

This is some sort of ‘stage of growth’—this transition, this move, this complete change of lifestyle!  Haven’t I grown enough?  Wait, don’t let me go into victimization now!  This blog post is about how to  accomplish a feeling which is one in which I feel as if I have more time—let’s stick with the topic at hand here.  (self reprimand– ha ha)

Moving on.  The oracle says to stay in touch with the “needs of the moment”.  Okay this is helpful.  And that’s right! Some of this whole time shortage and “I’m late” vibe is really future oriented.  People here run around trying desperately to drive into the future instead of just dealing with the needs of the moment—that’s the “slowing down” that I’ve been doing for the past 15 years which moving here has affected.  That’s usually how I am and I’ve allowed the surrounding people, places, things to infiltrate me—and I’ve sort of lost myself as far as this part goes. 

I need to bring my mountain mentality to the big city—and live it in the now by affirming continually that I am “in touch with the needs of the moment”—yeah, I like that.  I’m going to use that.  I should make that a sign and hang it up on the wall to remind myself! 

SIGN SHOULD READ:  I AM IN TOUCH WITH THE NEEDS OF THE MOMENT—PERIOD!

The Oracle also says that any attempt to make a plan or to make sense of things is premature and will lead to frustration.  Be gentle with the self and go slowly.

Let them rush and be late!  I don’t have to.  Right?

Kua 60 is about “Limitations” and speaks of “testing your own serenity in the chaos exposes the depth of self-disclipline” and also the manner in which we respond to “limitations” is revealing of what has been deeply assimilated. 

I have deeply assimilated the mountain energy and the inner peace of living a serene life has been genuinely anchored within me.  It is my true nature and true self.  I have to remember that it is there and cannot be affected—it is only necessary to stay in touch with myself by staying in touch with the needs of the moment.

Alright, I’ve gone on long enough and I’m good–are you?  I feel better and have, via this writing, helped to reinforce what is needed to establish my SELF in the moment again.

I hope this writing has helped another soul who may be able to use and apply any thoughts within these paragraphs. 

Wesak (Vesak), Beltane, Full Moon in Scorpio and Pluto Calls!

The Buddha’s Life is celebrated on Wesak (aka Vesak) at the Full Moon of May (this weekend)

PLUTO is so prominent on my mind lately— Pluto rules Scorpio — Full Moon in Scorpio — when Sun is in Taurus/Full Moon Scorpio we have the celebration of Nature and fertility (Beltane) and Wesak celebrating the Buddha.  Scorpio/Pluto relates to sexual bonding, healing and of course the depths, dealing with the dark.  My basement/cellar (Scorpio) area has been calling my attention to it for a while; interesting symbolism all in all since I have Scorpio at the bottom of my chart, the depth, the nadir, the 4th house.   

There has just been a physical cleansing there—some structure (an old closet) had to be removed and junk had to be hauled out and a powerful cleaner used to destroy anything that shouldn’t be growing down there.  Exactly. 

It feels good to me – the timing of all this; the symbolism. 

I’d like to think I’ve cleaned out old junk from the bottom of my soul like the workers cleaned out the junk from the basement.  It wasn’t even my junk mind you—it came from previous tenants or owners of the house.  Maybe some of the emotional and mental junk removal that I’ve done was from previous lifetimes, not this one.  That happened a while back however; it wasn’t recent. 

It takes time for the physical changes to occur once the mental/emotional/spiritual one’s happen; so that part makes sense to me.   

I’d like to think that the basement clean-up is the physical demonstration or manifestation or the symbolism which validates that I have done some important clean-up work on a soul  level. 

I’m sort of concerned about Sam though—the resident toad.  I don’t know if he’ll make it through the cleaning fluid fumes down there.  If I never see him again, may he attain the highest level on his little toad path.  Sure, I realize that it sounds crazy; but I can’t help but be concerned for all life forms… all sentient beings (living beings) wish to avoid suffering and seek happiness.  As a matter of fact, speaking of Sam the toad and this being the time we celebrate Wesak (or Vesak) and the life, teachings and enlightenment of The Buddha, this was in my Facebook timeline today and it is good to share:

 If a person does not harm any living being and does not kill or cause others to kill – that person is a true spiritual practitioner. — Siddhārtha Gautama

As the Sun squares my natal Pluto today, energy is culminating in a Pluto kind of way on a Pluto kind of day!  What else rhymes is Sam the salamander.  I asked the worker guys who went down there that there was a little toad dude down there—may he not get stepped upon.  They said they did not see him but did see a salamander.  Yep, I’ve seen him too.  So I think I should name the salamander Sam; after all the two s’s sound right.  I will re-name the toad if I see him again.  I’m thinking Terence would be a good name. 

I name inanimate objects often.  I called my old car “baby” (because it was a very small car)—well, an old boyfriend started that one.  My car was his baby’s car but even after he was history, it stuck.  In my old house rental, I called the propane gas wall heater Margaret and the furnace Ralph.  In this house the furnace is much bigger and I call him Buford.  I am rambling—I know;  don’t tell me.

I’m avoiding the lawn mowing and other chores and stalling while I see if a client is going to call—her appointment is up in the air for today (we agreed today or Monday but her schedule is uncertain). 

But, I can wait and ramble no longer.  I’m tempted to see if Terence the Toad (I’ll call him Terry for short) made it through the night with the fumes down there.  I had a hard time doing so myself and there’s a floor between us—lordie knows the stomach and nose knows!   

I can’t go down there for a few more days until the energy settles down and the fumes subside; time will tell. 

I’m off to mow the lawn while weather and time permit.   I’d better go.

If you’re of the Celtic persuasion, may it be a Blessed Beltane! for you and if you resonate with the Eastern teachers, Happy Wesak !   I have visions of my spirit dancing sky clad under the full moon with flowers woven in my hair while singing praises to the Buddha!  Who needs easter and christmas?! –which are spin off’s from the Buddhists and the Pagans anyway! 😉

THE YULE FARIES ~ A WINTER SOLSTICE STORY

A group of little Faeries huddled in their home deep under the roots of a giant oak tree. They were safe and snug in their tiny underground cave lined with dandelion fluff, bird feathers, and dried moss.

Outside, the wind blew cold and the snow fell softly down to cover the ground. “I saw the Sun King today,” the faerie named Rose said as she pulled her mossy cloak tighter about her. “He looked so old and tired as

He walked off through the forest. What is wrong with him? The great oak said he’s dying” answered Daffodil. Dying? Oh, what will we do now?” Little Meadow Grass started to cry “If the sun King dies, our

Little plant friends will not grow. The Birds will not come and sing again.Everything will be winter for ever!” Lilac, Dandelion and Elder Blossom tried to comfort their friend, but they were all very sad. As

They huddled together, there was a knock on the tiny door.

“Open up, Faeries,” called out a loud voice. “Why are you hiding instead of joining us in our Solstice celebration?” Rose opened the door and the little gnome Brown Knobby pushed inside, shaking the glistening snowflakes off his brown coat and hat.

“We are too sad to celebrate,” Daffodil said wiping her eyes, “the Sun King is dying, haven’t you heard?”

“He is dead you silly Faeries.” Brown Knobby’s round dark eyes sparkled with laughter. “now hurry, or we’ll be late for the celebration!”

“How can you be happy and laughing?!” Elder Blossom stamped her little foot and frowned at the gnome. “If the Sun King IS dead, it will be winter always. We will never see the Sun again!”

“Silly little child-Faeries.” Brown Knobby grabbed Dandelion by the hand and pulled her to her feet. “There is a secret to the Winter Solstice. Don’t you want to know what it is?”

The Faeries looked at him in surprise. “Secret?” they all said. “What secret? We are only new little Faeries, you silly gnome. We’ve never been to a Solstice celebration before.”

“Come and see. Come and see. Get your capes and come with me.” Brown Knobby danced and jigged around the room. “Hurry, Hurry, don’t be slow! To the sacred oak grove through the snow!”

He danced out of the door and disappeared.

“What did that gnome mean?” Rose asked as she gathered up her cloak of dried rose petals held together with cobwebs and lined with goose down.

“I don’t know, but the Lady lives in the sacred grove.” Meadow Grass pulled on her hat.

“Perhaps if we go to see the Goddess, She can explain what Brown Knobby was talking about”.

The Faeries left their snug little home and trudged off through the snow toward the sacred oak grove. The forest was dark with only the light of the Moon shining down through the thick fir branches and bare limbs of maple and hawthorn. It was very difficult for them to get through the snow because they were very, very small. As they waded through the wet snow and shivered in the cold wind, they met a fox.

“Where are you going, Faeries?” the fox asked.

“To the sacred grove,” they answered, they were cold and shivering.

“Climb on my back and I will take you there swiftly.”

The fox knelt down so the Faeries could climb up. Then he raced off through the dark.

“Listen!” Lilac said as they neared the grove of sacred trees. “Someone is singing happy songs. A LOT of someones.”

The beautiful music carried over the cold, still, moonlit air. It was the most beautiful music the Faeries had ever heard. The fox carried the Faeries right to the edge of the stone altar in the center of the grove, Then knelt down.

“Look!” said Elder Blossom as they slid to the snow covered ground. “There is the Maiden and the Mother and the OLD Wise One, And many other Little People.”

“They are all smiling and happy,” said Lilac as she looked around at all the creatures.

“All the animals are here too,” whispered Dandelion. “why are they all looking at the Mother?”

The Faeries moved closer to the three Ladies seated on the altar stone. The Mother held a bundle close in Her arms, smiling down at it. The Maiden reached down and took the Faeries gently in her Hands. She held them close to the Mother so they could see what She held.

“A Baby!” the Faeries cried. ” A new little Baby! Look how he glows!”

“He is the newborn Sun King,” said the Maiden smiling.

“But Brown Knobby and the old oak tree said the Sun King was dead,” the Faeries answered her. “How can this little baby be the Sun King?”

“That is the secret of the Winter Solstice.” The Old Wise One touched the baby’s cheek with her wrinkled hand. “Every year the Sun King must come to the sacred grove during the darkest days of winter where he dies. I take his spirit to the Mother who gives him new life again. This is the way for all creatures, not just the Sun King.”

” You mean everything lives and dies and lives again? the Faeries looked down in wonder at the baby Sun King, nestled in the arms of the Mother.

” Yes Little Ones,” answered the Old Wise One. “There is never an end to life. This is the great mystical secret of the Winter Solstice.”

The Faeries laughed because they were so happy.

“I think the little Sun King should have gifts,” said Rose. “I will show him where the wild roses bloom in the early summer.”

“And, I will teach him to call the birds and listen to the songs of the wind,” exclaimed Dandelion.

“When he is older and stronger, ” said the Mother, “then the flowers will bloom at his touch, the birds will return to sing their songs, and the air will be warm from his breath, and winter will be gone for a time. Then the Sun King will run and play with you in the forest.”

The little Faeries sang to the Baby Sun King, songs of the coming spring, the sweet smelling flowers, the bumbling bees, and all the secrets of the forest. And all the creatures within the sacred grove sang with them. Then the fox took them back to their snug home under the roots of the giant oak tree where they dreamed wonderful dreams, waiting for the warmth of spring and the fun they would have with the little Sun King. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

PS— a little teaching gift: it is said that written even in christian texts that Jesus was born in the Spring; it’s no accident that the patriarchal church fathers chose to move his official birthday to the time of the Winter Solstice – for it is indeed a time when the Light enters the darkness of the World, and we see again the building of christanity  on the foundations of yet another ancient Druid Celtic ritual. ॐ Om ॐ  Despite that, Happy Holidays to you no matter which one you celebrate and a very Happy New Year!