Modesty and Self-Reliance with Fame and Fortune and the spaces in between ~ I-ching Kua 15 Modesty

I’ve got to say it right off the bat, right at the start here—the universe has a great sense of humor! HA! Modesty, humility, self-respect, sincerity, respectability—boy O boy haven’t I been dealing with that tonight?

I share myself, my issues, my worries and challenges here and work through them risking  looking much less-than-perfect, sometimes embarrassingly vulnerable and most times way too human.  Oh, sure, the part of me that opens the channel when you call for a reading watches this and smiles and helps and there are fabulous personal moments of integration in my private life and I write about those too both here and in my weekly newsletter.  Yet in the end, I am on earth like every body else and have to deal with that L word, Life.

With no cable TV anymore (my choice), I’m filling my evening with doing some computer tasks that I’ve been putting off.  One task has to do with figuring out how to put a donate button on my blog and newsletter—which, by the way, I told myself I’d never do.

And part of the reason why not relates to the oracle’s I-ching message which I received right after I finally nailed down how to install the silly button!

Kua 15 was the result of the toss–this one is entitled “modesty” and covers self-respect and humility as well.  It also has to do with simplicity.  Can we actually use self-respect and humility in the same sentence about a donate button without setting off a few emotional alarms?  I’m working on that one tonight.

I never thought I’d have ads on my website or blog page, but there they are–although I find them tasteful for the most part and providing a service to visitors.  After all, we’re talking about Hay House, Shamballa Publications and Sounds True  –I think of them as high-class advertisers for spiritual and inspirational material.  If you buy from them by clicking from my page, their accountants toss a few pennies my way.  But if you are looking for inspirational material, it’s all there.  Anyway…

The thing is that I just want to be a sage and work quietly and then go hide on the mountain top again when I’m not needed … no muss, no fuss and all that. But it is I who need you!

I am reminded time and again that I need you—and cannot be on the earth alone and survive without at least some help from others.  My beautiful clients and students have helped me fulfill my physical needs (thank you so gratefully).  And talk about modest… basic survival stuff like the electric bill, phone bill, rent, groceries, auto insurance and gas for the tank as well as firewood for winter.  Yes, I know that represents grand abundance in some people’s eyes (mine when I look at my life through the eyes of some others).  And even through my own eyes, if my needs are met, I do feel wealthy.

Sometimes, I don’t want to need anyone and become very upset that I do. 

I am supposed to be self-reliant in this lifetime (North Node of the Moon is in Taurus in my natal chart). In fact this morning I tweeted this quote from Emerson:  “Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants, and to serve them one’s self?”  I think that quote is pretty much about self-reliance and I like it; but the truth is that we need one another.  It seems like almost every time I try to go it alone or think of myself as living in my own vacuum of energy, the Universe shows me that.

The message of this Kua 15 is about being content with being ordinary—not seeking fame and fortune or trying to “keep up with the Jones”.  Moderation is about keeping things simple and living a simple life.  Simplicity can create spaciousness; sometimes the less we have, the less we have to try to manage.

In my work, I have the good fortune to speak to people all around the world.  I have noticed that folks I talk to who are from previously under-privileged (and I use that last term loosely) countries and who are modernized to the tune where they are making money are very hungry to do so.  Many seem to worry a good deal about creating fortunes.  As Ma Deva Padma says,

“We live in a world that reveres extraordinariness. Sooner or later nearly everyone fantasizes about being admired for their brilliance, and the guarantee of happiness from gaining fame, fortune, and adoration because of it. Rarely do we come across anyone who is content to be simply ordinary. Craving anything new, exciting, or glamorous, we imagine how our lives could be different; worrying about how the world sees us or wondering whether the grass might be greener in the other fellow’s garden keeps us discontented and preoccupied to the point of distraction.”

The message for this time (whatever time you happen to read this) is to keep things simple. Meditation will help to create spaciousness from concerns that connect with fame and fortune and locks you into your intuition which will enable you to be in each moment comfortably as it unfolds.

As for me, I am throwing pride out the window and adding the paypal donation buttons to this blog and my newsletter in a total lack of pretension while I attempt to retain my respectability.  Others, who I greatly respect, have buttons on their blogs… well, anyway, I believe that I shall be contemplating this Kua 15 of modesty in my meditation later this evening.

Sincerely wishing you many confidently peaceful days ahead …

 

Love and Tonglen with Home Foreclosure Notice – Holding a High Vibration

This day started out with me, myself and I making a vow to hold a high vibration today in consciousness for the good of all.  You know, an energy thing—helping to keep good vibes for humanity and all of life.  I’m sure some readers (have a small ‘christian’ following now—omg!)  may not fully get that, but what we think, feel and our general vibration goes out into the world and “thoughts are things” and gather more of the same.  They come back to us (some would say) eventually and others would maybe not agree.  I am not going to turn this blog into a metaphysics level one basic introductory course, so google stuff or not—anyone’s choice.  Wow, that sounded sort of testy—wasn’t meant that way.  Anyway, moving right along…

I am blogging about this vow I made to myself so that maybe I can release a certain guilt that came up a moment ago.  You see, It’s been taking a good deal of energy for me to cope with a recent rent increase—I’ve been doing the quick step over here in my attempts to figure out how to work that one into the budget.  There’s been a splitting off:  one part of me is planning to pack and move while knowing perfectly well that wouldn’t solve a thing!  Another part of me would like to start digging a tunnel to China (have no idea what that means except maybe it’s related to going home by way of  China to Tibet?),  while the more grounded other part is actually determining what we “do without” around here or how to increase income to compensate for the rent increase.

I really dislike the begging bowl thing (you have no idea!) and it doesn’t work well in the 21st century in America anyway, unless you become some sort of church or ministry–no thank you.  I’ve noticed that some bloggers have a Paypal button on their blog for donations–really?  Okay… so after I saw that, it crossed my mind.  Maybe if I get desperate, which hasn’t happened yet but I’m close.  Ha ha.  Anyway, back to moving right along here…

The rental lady called yesterday, left a message that I should call her right away because she needs to talk to me about something—and her tone of voice wasn’t really saying, “everything’s alright” but then her voice never does.  But, yeah, I was pretty disappointed in my reaction… before I even had finished dialing her number, my life was flashing before my eyes.  Those darn fears of being homeless again!  I thought I’d resolved that at least a thousand times already.

Who knows?  On the outside looking in (if someone would have been in the room at the time to see it), I may have appeared cool as a cucumber; but inside?  Imagine having just been in a car accident—that feeling.  It’s highly embarrassing – I teach this stuff!  I blog it, tweet it, Facebook it, read about it as well a/s write about it and still and as the song goes, still crazy after all these years!

We’ve all got something that triggers our security issues and rings our fear bell—everybody’s got that one big fear just hanging out on the sidelines waiting for something to hit its pattern so it can activate.  And many times, there’s really irrational stuff attached to the thinking and thank goodness we have other humans to discuss these things with because until someone laughs at those fears, we really don’t realize how irrational they are!

I told my sister that part of what flashed before my eyes when I was calling the rental girl back had to do with the x-tian telephone man who was in my very own kitchen telling me I was going to go hell the day before—see blog post from two days ago 11/29/11 –maybe he’s the cousin of the landlady or the rental girl and they want /me out!  It wasn’t until my sister roared laughing and then told me how ridiculous that sounded that I realized how irrational that fear could be in my mind!

After all was said and done, it had to do with an adjustment of $6.  Meanwhile, back at the ranch as the saying goes, I had another good look at that fear monster.

Today, I hear from someone who writes that the bank is foreclosing on her home.  I feel ashamed for splitting off from myself in these smaller and much more insignificant matters of mine in comparison to that.

And within 10 minutes of making the vow to myself to hold a high vibration today, feelings of being ashamed for whining about my rent increase in comparison to someone who is being foreclosed upon, I’ve broken my vow.

I must release this feeling.  I suppose it’s all relative—one man’s foreclosure is another’s rent increase?  I don’t know it’s a fair statement or not.  In these types of matters, I immediately go deeper into the meaning.  Anytime something happens, I’m immediately asking “What is the universe trying to tell me?”  In other words, what’s really going on here?  Is the direction changing and what IS that direction and how am I to work in harmony with it?

You know, some things are real in the sense that it is just life doing what it does and it is always for our benefit.  Yeah, I hear ya’; I know.  Trust me, I know.  I had very fast-moving thoughts of how I was going to pack up all my belongings yesterday to be ready to move.  And truthfully, I’m still working on chasing that image out of my head.   It’s one of those situations of “wherever you go, there you are” when it comes to me, myself and I with the bills and rent.  Anyway… I could probably nurture that belief system into something more prosperous!  How many times have I read, “poverty is a state of mind”–?

It’s strange though, deep down – which is where I’ve just gone since the pause between now and the last paragraph – I always believe it’s going to work out alright and that I am going to be alright.  You know, that it’s going to be (at a minimum) okay and more likely that it’s going to work out for my benefit so that it’s going to be more than okay.  And that’s even in the moment when my stomach is doing flips, my life is passing before my eyes and I’m thinking I may have to head for the bathroom at any moment!  Somehow, it’s going to be okay or better than that.  That’s what I want the person who wrote to me about the bank foreclosing on her house to know.

I now release the shame/guilt that I felt earlier and have re-infused my vow to hold a high vibration today for all of life.

And as I go about my work today, I will send special love to the person who wrote to me and to all beings who are in any way suffering or feeling insecure, unloved, fearful or confused.

Today, I will do the Buddhist Tonglen Meditation Practice for you!

And I will hold a special focus for the person who wrote to me about the bank foreclosing on her home.

Universal Love Prayer

        from the Metta  [Lovingkindness] Sutta

May all beings be filled with joy and peace. May all beings everywhere,  The strong and the weak,  The great and the small,  The mean and the powerful,  The short and the long,  the subtle and the gross:  May all beings everywhere,  Seen and unseen, Dwelling far off or nearby,  Being or waiting to become:  May all be filled with lasting joy.  Let no one deceive another,  Let no one anywhere despise another,  Let no one out of anger or resentment Wish suffering on anyone at all.  Just as a mother with her own life Protects her child, her only child, from harm, So within yourself let grow  A boundless love for all creatures.  Let your love flow outward through the universe,  To its height, its depth, its broad extent, A limitless love, without hatred or enmity.  Then as you stand or walk, Sit or lie down, As long as you are awake,  Strive for this with a one-pointed mind;  Your life will bring heaven to earth.

Namu Amida Buddha.

Do You Feel Like I Feel? Need Relief, Deliverance and a Solution from Winter, Holiday and Financial Blues or Frustration? I-CHING Oracle Helps – Kua 40

Welcome to the conversation with me, myself and I about finding a solution. Yes, alright.  I agree (with myself); I’m tired and never happy when it is raining and cold at the same time with snow predictions flying left and right.  Money issues are tugging me left and right and up and down from below and above—typical for this time of year when my home rental lease is up (and the rent went up with it) and end of the year income reports and the beloved Black Friday hoopla bites at one’s heels.  And if I could leave the planet and come back in January, I’d be fine with it—what to “get” this one and that one when I give all year-long when I see the need and I can (actually I’m generous with my family and usually don’t need much).  I totally resent some merchants and christian holiday makers telling me about the deadline.  Funny, I don’t feel this pressure for other holidays but x-mas memories are filled with “how are we going to pull it off again this year?”  You know, three little children and society really won’t let you get away from it—they insist!  It’s x-mas, go along with it.  Get’s my rebel rouser up, you know?  Not that I don’t enjoy the decorations and lights and bright red bows and poinsettia’s which off-set the bare brown leaves and lack of color generally at this time of year—and the darkness.

Yeah, that too and striving for balance when the days seem so short!  Honestly, a segment of time for exercise, meditation, food, housekeeping, work, emailing and there’s not enough hours in the day.  Yeah, I Facebook and tweet but it’s my way of letting my family and close friends be in touch and vice versa; it seems like nobody has time to email anymore and I am constantly behind there too.  Maybe with the cable being shut off in a day or so (my choice), the perspective will change; we’ll see.

I mean last night I was watching the Sunday evening Amazing Race show on TV (cable gets shut off tomorrow) while working on emails, bills, bank statement and accounting for holiday gifts and lots of loose ends being tied up when I hear coming from the direction of the TV, “Welcome to the Morning Show.”  Really?

I crashed for a few hours and then back at it – clients, students and other email inquiries tugging and pulling and then paypal demanding tax ID information.  Sometimes the head just swirls, you know?  I haven’t blogged in a while again and I’ve got to compose this week’s newsletter which I’ve already done in my mind—it’s a matter of typing it out.

Maybe you are feeling a bit overwhelmed and slightly frustrated even though you are (like me) gallantly, truly and sincerely, from-your-deep-heart completely grateful for your life and your family and your blessings, no matter what denomination/amount or trend they come in.  Yet, also like me, right about now, you could use a little wisdom and guidance.  Will you be joining me for a cup of hot tea and a toss of the I-CHING?  Let’s do; here we go then.

What does the divinatory system available to us have to say to us at this time of mini-frustration and overwhelm?  Let’s have a look; if you need this as much as I apparently do right now, keep reading…

Many times, if I am feeling stuck, frustrated or overwhelmed, I recognize it (as I do now) and pull a divination card (tarot), do an I-CHING toss or select an Angel card after a quick shuffle.  Any of these give me something to meditate upon—like a mandala or focusing on a prayer of some sort.  Lots of times, I will just quiet down, look at the image on the card if it’s a picture and allow the image to trigger something within my heart that wants to speak by way of wisdom or guidance.  With the I-CHING, if there’s time, I will read the meaning of the Kua if I do not know it from memory and my intuition will spark on a word, phrase or sentence.  I may take that and then sit with it in meditation; I usually like to do this outdoors and am happy to be able to have a room that is designated a meditation room where I can sit when it is cold, snowing, raining or dark outside as it is now.  I try to make this area as comforting and warm as I can for myself.   There were times in my past where I had only one room and set aside one corner with a small altar for this purpose—an angel statue or a Buddha and other special, sacred (to me) or spiritual (to me) items to help me focus in a different way.

One of the worst things that we all do, and it is something that I’m doing now as I’m typing (and I need to release this NOW) is to feel guilty for how we were feeling previously in the preceding hours or days before we can do this calm-down and re-centering meditation or contemplation.  This becomes a vicious cycle of course—we feel bad and then begin to shift and do a guilt trip on ourselves by feeling guilty for feeling bad (meaning feeling overwhelmed or temporarily frustrated or agitated).  We might say something like, “Just look at you with all your blessings—how dare you complain when so many people in the world are suffering! YOU should not be feeling this way.”   This type of self-berating does absolutely no good and is a trap.  The truth is that you have given yourself the opportunity to slow down and regroup and are seeking guidance and wisdom from within—NOT the inner critic!

So the I-CHING Kua we have here is (interestingly enough) Kua 40 called DELIVERANCE or ABATEMENT OF DANGER.  (By the way, I looked into the meaning of the word “deliverance” in the dictionary:  “action of setting free” in physical or spiritual senses. )The wisdom here is to recognize that the worst is over for the moment mostly because of the wisdom that we had here to take action—to actually STOP and recognize that we needed to consult the oracle.  Because we’re doing that right now, the danger of “going off the deep end” has subsided or been averted.

The I-CHING oracle is saying that it is good to reflect on the entire situation but don’t reflect too long—too much contemplation cripples the ability to make a decision.  Like I said, feeling guilty has no place in this process, it’s crippling. Further, the oracle says to return to your normal activities as soon as the danger is over.  I don’t know about you, but stopping to type and consult the I-CHING has helped me get past the hump enough to be able to return to normal activities.  In this case, the normal activity is sleep aligning with my intention to get to bed at a reasonable hour and not be up all night again.  Since it’s nearing 1 AM, my inner guide is saying, “Good enough–now post it.  Maybe it will help someone else out there and then OFF TO BED!”

Knowing me, I will probably consider the guidance further and then maybe have a follow-up dream about it (no matter if I remember the dream or not, I’ll probably have one) and wake up in the morning feeling much better.  Maybe by then the rain will have stopped and the snow they’re predicting will be starting.  I’m not going to lament the fact that I hardly got to enjoy the fall before winter showed up!  Like a little child, I get whiney when I’m tired.  Tomorrow’s another day as my grandmother used to say a lot and I do (after all) like snow.   Really I do.

See you next time…   the sound of the rain and wind outside will help me sleep (I hope).  I love the synchronicity of the rain and thunderstorm image on the Kua 40 card above. Looking at the image what comes to mind is an American Indian (maybe the ‘me’ of a past life in my fantasy) beseeching the Thunder Beings to “beam me up” and you know the rest of the line from Star Trek.

Read my addendum below and you should see my point with that last comment… and by the way…

 …currently the transiting NORTH NODE of the Moon (evolving evolutionary intention for each soul) is conjuncting the SUN (purpose) and MERCURY (talk/communicate/discuss/information) ALL in the sign of SAG (belief systems/truth versus lies and freedom/deliverance as well as Nature and natural law) — toss in that MERCURY  is  RETROGRADE in that sign of SAG and Omg I guess we can see the possibility of what I describe below happening elsewhere; maybe different details but generally the same possible vibe as below.  After all, that NN, Mercury retro and Sun in Sag stellium is happening right now for everyone.

ADDENDUM:  Posting this paragraph the following day–I noticed that the Moon was in Capricorn yesterday and the day before.  Cap is about “getting real” and “work” and applying discipline.  The emotional energy was in alignment with wrapping things up and dealing with the practical earth-living stuff.  I had a giggle this morning when I pushed aside another obvious connection with that Capricorn energy yesterday.  The phone man was here and let me tell you, trying to get phone problems dealt with up here is like pulling teeth sometimes.  Toss in that we have a new company that simply  cannot seem to get its website straightened out so that I can pay my bill online—well, lots of patience is required.  Now, Saturn rules Capricorn and that energy really relates to the religious Patriarchy, “Father” god, and “society-consensus” energy (i.e.Muggles).  Long story short, that Capricorn Moon must have stirred the muggle’s emotional heart on the level of the father-god dogma because in our discussion about the phone, the native american burial mound, and my questions to him about snakes (after all, he probably knows–he’s a local-yocal in these here mountains) eventually lead him to bring up the B word (THE BIBLE).  And now here we are in my very own kitchen having this conversation!  Another meaning of the word DELIVERANCE as it relates to yesterdays oracle, Kua 40 is SALVATION.  Synchronicity galore there, right?  And this guy who is telling me that this week is FAWN HUNTING around here which topic we get to because he tells me if I go hiking up on the mountain to wear a bright orange vest or I could get SHOT, adding that he doesn’t let his kids go out and play during FAWN HUNTING SEASON which is right NOW.  (The danger is that his own children could be shot.) Omg!  Well, you know how my head, heart, and solar plexus chakras were spinning if you are a follower of this blog!  Anyway, why would the hunting license people ever say it is okay to shoot a baby deer?  I mean, WHY?  Okay, I could go on writing for days, but client’s want readings and there are a gazillion things to do so… the bottom line, okay?  The phone guy in my kitchen ended up saying that no rattle snakes are around here but added that he’s killed several copper heads when he’s been out in the woods; so I say, “were they coming after you, attacking you?” and he says no and I just couldn’t ask any more questions.  The other bottom line was he told me that he feels very bad for me since I will be going to HELL because I don’t fully accept the BIBLE as the full, complete and end-of-story and do-not-question-it WORD OF GOD, period.  You know how these people are–its like talking to a brick wall.  I wanted to laugh when he told me that the god buddha (really?) is buried but jezuz doesn’t have a grave therefore he’s really god and that his baptist-bible father-god “really is an INTOLERANT god” said like it’s a good thing,  but really I bit my lip and tried not to roar laughing–why be blatantly rude, you know?  The guy was pretty pissed off when he left because I simply would not buy into the fear of hell he was trying to get me to buy.  Yeah, Moon was in Capricorn yesterday–it all figures! I still don’t know why they kill baby deer anymore than I can understand why a very nice tree along the public walkway, standing straight and tall and shading the sidewalk along a creek is being chopped at with an axe.  Maybe its a boy scout project?  Why that tree?  Every time I go by, I can see the axe chopping marks are going deeper into the tree’s trunk with a huge V on both sides now and a few more swings and she’s firewood.  Truly, I scratched my head thinking of what possible harm the tree could be doing there along side the creek and walkway–it has no obvious signs of death or decay nor is it leaning or posing a threat to anything.   A boy scout project is all I can think — overall, a sad thing to teach a boy scout to do IMHO, but maybe its a survival-skill badge or some such thing.  Really I wanted to put a big sign on the tree with the three letters and a question mark, “WHY?”  I’d put that same sign on every FAWN on the planet too if I could and my imagination goes even further but I’d spare you that since it goes into areas of perversion.  So there it is– an example of the Capricorn/Saturn archetype and a little bit of what the MOON in CAPRICORN might trigger within us emotionally charged by a stellium in Sag with the transiting NN, MERC and SUN; and now I have to go burn some sage in my kitchen!  Buddha a god, oh please! 

(PS — I slept great, don’t remember any dreams, feel much better, it hasn’t snowed yet but I had an invigorating morning task of gathering up the outdoor carpet, lawn chairs and flower pots that blew upside down from the big winds and rains last night.  Have a glorious fire going in the fireplace… it’s 30 degrees but cozy in my bear den here. By the way, the lady who brings me firewood does not chop down trees, these are “downed -already-tree-firewood-logs.”.. well, you know what I mean.  🙂 )