Merge, Harmonize or Maintain Separation? Living with Mumbai Neighbors in the USA!

MUMBAI
Mumbai!!

Maybe it is a matter of merging and harmonizing—and not being/feeling/trying so hard to be separate.  Maybe that’s the lesson from Lord and Lady Mouth of Mumbai!  Okay, so I am being sarcastic and cynical and I shouldn’t call them that.  You may want to cut me a break with that since I’ve been up until after 1 AM listening to their gyrations, door slamming and loud-mouthing!  Yeah, I make myself stay up until they quiet down because IF NOT I have horrible dreams from their fighting and door slamming.  Yeah, talk to the management?  I have, they say call the police or slam the wall or stomp my feet and they will get the message.

It is about merging and harmonizing instead of fighting it!  And them!  And myself!  At least I think that’s the approach.  After all, what I’ve seen of India—aside from the ashram of the late Sathya Sai Baba—and PBS documentaries showing crowded streets and dog-eat-dog chaos amounts to a sum total of that and the movie,  Slumdog Millionaire!  Their way of life is probably 1,000 different than my own—they are obviously used to merging with others more than I am.  With a population like that I’d suppose you’d have to know how –and I’d not be able to survive in India the way I’m not able to even merge or harmonize with my downstairs neighbors!

Many of us get this concept of India that everyone there is like Deepak Chopra or are meditation masters.  I cannot tell you how many people from India that I’ve met who say they don’t even know how to meditate—so they’re just like Americans in that sense.  I can’t lump the whole culture; that’s not fair and of course I’m blogging while sleep deprived here on top of being frustrated with the paper-thin walls here while now knowing that I’m hugely overpaying in rent for such a shoddily and cheaply constructed structure.  But there it is—fact.  It is what it is.

Some light here involves my soon to be married daughter who lives in suburbia in a beautiful community of condo—it’s gorgeous!  In the summer time their pool is supervised and the last 10 minutes of every hour of the day they clear the kids from the pool so that adults can do lap swimming.  YES!!!!  She mentioned that when they buy their house in another year that they would … well, she’s going to talk it over with her soon to be husband, but she indicated that it’s possible that they could rent their condo to me!!  I do miss the mountains and planned to go back – something more deeply affirmed within my since the super-mouths of Mumbia moved in below me.  (If you’ve not been paying attention to my blog, they have earned that well-deserved name with me due to their 24-7 marathon dialogues interspersed with sudden fights that spring up just when you suspect they’ve finally fallen asleep throughout the wee early mornings!)  They don’t leave for Monster’s Inc. (Lowes Headquarters) until around 9:30 AM but I’m up by 6 AM to welcome my granddaughter in while we wait together for the time for her school bus—her mother has a long drive to work and has to leave early.

Oh, why not put on a fan for white noise?  Yeah?  I hear them over the sound of the fan and if I fall asleep before they do (their fighting and loud voices beneath my bed can still be heard anyway), the result for is crazy, horrible dreams—nightmares.  Bad dreams were coming every night (not typical for me AT ALL) until I woke straight up out of one and heard them fighting beneath me….duhh, no wonder!   Honestly, these folks go on-and-on-and-on-and-on and never give it a rest!  I’ve never heard anything like it and really if there was an award given for people who talk, bicker and fight non-stop—they’d be the clear winners!

I was feeling the FLIGHT OR FIGHT feeling in my bed while reading my spiritual book—that’s when they first moved in you see and I didn’t realize that there were new neighbors.  Suddenly in the midst of my reading i feel that whole ‘fight or flight’ panic in my body.  Really? where’s that coming from?  I put my book down to go within to figure it out when i realize that i think i hear a voice, man’s voice.  No I think, I must be imagining it.  My fan is on, vibrating, making white noise.  I go back to my book.  Again, louder, voices…. still feeling my heart race and sort of panic feeling.  What is going on here?  so am I crazy?  I get up to turn off the fan to find out and yeah!  Its Lord and Lady Mumbi –the downstairs neighbors–going on and on yelling to each other beneath my bed!

Okay anyway, i’ve got one idea–it could help.  I am going to get some inexpensive door mirrors at Wal Mart and put them mirror side down beneath my bed hoping that whatever energy comes up will be forced back down via the mirrors!   I’ll let you know how it works.  It won’t muffle sound but may direct energy back down so i don’t feel it in my body.  In this instance of the Mumbai neighbors, the fact that I’m a sensitive, a psychic, is more a hindrance than a help.

Enough kvetching!  The only thing I can do is try to harmonize instead of insisting that I maintain separation.  I want to say this is MY sacred space and your voices and door slamming sounds are NOT ALLOWED—GET OUT@!!  But, how realistic is that with these paper thin walls?  Their voices just carry—they’re the opposite of ‘soft talkers’.  I suspect one or both may be partially deaf –this I try to believe to evoke compassion for them which at 1 AM is really difficult, but I do try!

Anyway, one coping mechanism is to run the dishwasher through a few cycles; that muffles Mumbai for about an hour and a half.  I put my TV onto the Buddhist channel the rest of the time in an effort to change the vibe –but really in the evenings my habit is to meditate or read; usually both.  How long can I listen to the Dalai Lama’s translators or the sound of my own dishwasher before that gets old too?  Well, there’s always old re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy or a Harry Potter DVD, but the point is that’s all me still trying to separate instead of merging and harmonizing.

Anyway, that’s my thought for today—it has to do with my observation that I am trying to separate myself from humanity and humanity is right underneath my feet letting me know it’s not going anywhere!  Nice!  And they say the universe has no sense of humor!

Part of this is not their fault!  The shouting and slamming doors—yeah, I’m going to have to talk to them about that stuff that goes on after 10:00 PM; there’s no need for THAT!  The other part of it is just them being them—humans!  Humans’ way too close to my turf!  Boy O boy do I miss the old tenant … a single guy who just played his TV … a movie every now and then.  No problem; I’d go into the bedroom, turn on my fan and read my book.  Sure.  I’d hear him on the phone now and again but ‘what the heck’, a person has to talk once in a while.  But these folks—OMG!  It’s like a 24 hour phone call–!!

The weekend is upon us—and really I’d like to work more on writing my astrology class but why bang my head against the wall?  It’s impossible to think straight with the motor-mouths of Mumbai going at it all day long!  So, I’ll be coming up with a plan B today; maybe I can take my whole act over to my daughter’s house—she’s 5 doors down and hardly ever hears her neighbors.

Well, they don’t leave for Monster’s Inc for another 45 minutes.  I’ve been totally killing time here waiting for them to leave for their jobs.  I may go back to bed for a while which I really don’t like doing b but you won’t find THIS hard to believe—I’ve got a sore throat and head cold since yesterday afternoon.  Yeah, figures.

See that photo of Mumbai?  I nearly laughed out loud!  Apparently, they’re used to living like that—and yeah, I’d never make it there OR I’d have to learn to merge and harmonize.  Just look at the photo; that many people crowded together like that?  They probably learned to shout to one another just to be heard over their neighbor!!  They’re probably doing what is in entirely natural for them and I’m the one who has the problem!!  I’m trying to see me from their point of view.

Could I be better at harmonizing and being more tolerant?  Yeah, I really think I can and should try harder!  Just look at that picture!  I look at the birds outside my window taking turns to come to the birdfeeder… they sit on the branches waiting for some to clear out while others are there.  Somehow they merge and harmonize and …. Well, some do flap their wings at the others, but still.  I think that when the Mouths of Mumbai are home, I should be not home as much as possible.  I should fly away like the birds to the birdfeeder.  I’ve got to get better at harmonizing and merging with humanity; but I will still carry the Plan B to go back to the wilderness.  I sure do miss the quiet and serenity of the mountains.

Merge, harmonize, blend and quit thinking that you are a separate ego Joy!!!  You are only energy in the world like everyone and everything else.  Lose your illusion of separateness and put the ego to bed, for good—merge, dissolve, blend, harmonize.  Let go.  Namaste Mumbi Mouth Lord and Lady, Namaste!

Excuse me now.  I’m going to bed to nurse my cold and restore my health! It is 9:15 AM ; they should be soon leaving for Monster’s Inc.  Please god, don’t tell me that they have the day off today!!  I’m waiting to hear the door close…. waiting, waiting, waiting…..   Oh, thank you jesus…9:20 AM and their door closes…they’ve gone…. AMEN.

Yeah, I’ll admit to being close to going over the edge…. but for now i’m going to grab  my Kleenex and get back into bed!

 

New Years Eve 2013 Meditation and Loud Downstairs Neighbors

I really miss the High Country and can't wait to get back!  Civilization and city livine sux!
I really miss the High Country and can’t wait to get back! Civilization and city living sux!  This time I shall not forget this!

My bedroom looked like a church–an interjection from my catholic heritage (i’m an X) but for the blessed mother who has merged with Isis, Kwan Yin, Laxmi, Tara and other mother-goddesses in my mind.  Yet, the chant of the rosary is still very peaceful, very calming, stilling, quieting… and using the name of every higher being in my memory,  they were all called in last night.  Please, please dear heavens, let me have a quiet new years eve!  Let the downstairs couple shush a while, Amen.

Their voices were escalating as usual around up until 9:30 but after that… nothing.  Maybe it was my music.  It wasn’t loud but there are a great set of Dolby speakers on my old desktop in my room!  And I used them, called up Pandora on the Internet and played Heart Meditation music.  Then I lit my candles, placed a barrier of light all around my and between the floor and the chaos below.  I could hear nothing but the music and my own thoughts–!!  Amen!

Tomorrow Monsters Inc. will be open again (Lowes Hardware Store Headquarters) where the Indian people work; on a regular work day they should be barking somewhere else than beneath my feet!  Can I get another Amen Brothers and Sisters?  Amen!

It was lovely… last night.  Reciting my most favorite prayers and chants just barely over the sound of my breath with eyes slightly open to taken in the candles in front of my Buddha statue on one side of my room and the candles in front of the Blessed Mother statue on the other side and the heart meditation music on not too loud and not too softly… perfect.  After my chants I quieted for a good while hearing only my music–maybe the angels put the loudmouth Indian couple into a trance!  Who knows, who cares?  I felt completely alone like I hadn’t for days!  Beautiful.

After a good while, perhaps an hour or so, there were predictions for the year and in that state with only candle light, I did my best to scribble down some things that were coming in for the New Year.  Then back to my music and my peaceful mind and heart.

New Years Eve is a favorite time of mine for meditation.  One of the candles that I lit was from our solstice gathering — it was loaded with intentions for the new year.  I thought of people who might be suffering for various reasons and did the Buddhist Metta Meditation for a while with tears streaming down my face.  I promised to be a better person and felt truly sorry for times in 2012 when I wasn’t and then forgave myself and forgave others.  I asked for blessings for each of my family members by name with my heart and mind infused their highest and best intentions for 2013 (something we worked on at our solstice gathering).

Earlier in the day somehow my intentions were fulfilled to have quiet for my writing (the astrology class) and through this miracle hours of writing took place which left me with great satisfaction.  Then I did my indoor exercises followed by a night-time walk at the jogging park a bit of a distance away from here.  It was dark and breezy, temperature in the 40’s but walking on the gravel reminded me of  the crunch of snow under my feet the way it was walking in the mountains.  My music was loud on the mp3 player, and I was there alone and the cold air on my face was exhilarating.  There were plenty of street lights and parking lot lights surrounding this place that I had all to myself–reminiscent somewhat of my hikes in the mountains.

I came home to Lord and Lady mouth downstairs and let me tell you ‘he ain’t no Deepak Chopra‘!  And she?  her sounds are very irritating to anyone’s ears no doubt.  It is nearly comical actually thinking of how they could stand to listen to each other’s sounds all day and all night the way they go on!  How much could one person have to say to another?  Since before Christmas–on and on and on day after day and trust me they are not always happy sounds!  Sometimes they fight horribly.  I’ve begun to notice the sound of banging on the  wall which must be from other neighbors in the building when they get loud.  Ah-ha and that is somewhat comforting that it is not me alone who is sending them signals.

One night I just tapped gently on the wall by my bed to let them know they could be heard.  That quieted them for only about 10 minutes!  They yesterday I did loose it after being awakened by their loud arguing mouthings.  I didn’t mean to… it was probably a response to being awoken in the morning to arguing human voices that caused enough irritation that I slammed the wall with my fist so hard that I startled myself–it was reactive and not premeditated.  Wow, where did that come from, eh?  That got me a few hours of peace afterward but I felt bad all day long for losing control.

I need to go back to writing my astrology class now… enough energizing the downstairs neighbor issue!  Yet, I do believe in the power of intention and others energizing an intention.  Like I said, Monsters Inc. can’t resume business calling the Indian computer geeks back to work soon enough as far as I’m concerned! (apologies to my Indian friends and clients — i know these two birds below me must be rare and not like you at all)

In the meanwhile, maybe others reading this (no matter what day you stumble across it) could help energize my intention to have a quiet peaceful place to live and work–yes?  Could you think that thought for me for a second now?  Thank you.

One last thing–as I told my daughter, since they’ve moved in dreams have been very strange!  And then last night there is the realization why.  After my very nice New Years meditation –which by the way is fun to do with eyes closed and no clock in view anyway  because you can feel the energy build from all over the time zone you’re in and then it starts to peak and you FEEL exactly when new years is!  Lord and Lady Mouth must have passed out since not a whimper could be heart over my soft music and there was no external sounds at all until well after midnight when somewhere there were fireworks off in the distance.

And in the mountains in the past 15 years it is very quiet too–so the point is that it is that on New Years Eve, by the energy build up you feel in your own body which permeates the whole North Eastern part of the United States here,  that indicates when it is 12 midnight New Years Eve!  And before that time–yes some lower life forms are getting drunk  LOL–but many others are also meditating and to be tapped into that energy is very close to total bliss.

Again, I thank the powers that be for Lord and Lady mouth’s silence last night.  Amen and thank you again!

I can actually, as I listen to his muffled voice going on non-stop right this very minute now as I type and as  it has for hours with her high-pitched inflections inserted… I can actually feel so grateful for what freedom i have from that in that I’d not be able to be her.   To have to be in her shoes would be a very special kind of hell for me–to have a man lecture and scold me for hours on end in that way while imprisoned with no escape from him, no car and today it is raining.  Oh, how awful that would be for me although she laughs and carries on to the point where I don’t think she minds it much.  It just amazes me that two people could talk so non-stop, amazing!

Well, the dreams I understand why I’ve had strange dreams after last night.  I fell into a peaceful slumber around 1 am after my new year meditation and next thing I was trying to help a very weak man who was in a wheel chair and had fallen and he was no more than skin and bone.  I could not reach him…  there were metal bars and things between he and I and the next thing my eyes open and the realization is that the couple downstairs are yelling at each other in their bedroom directly beneath my own!

It was quite loud.  Spontaneously I jumped out of bed half asleep and yelled, “Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey….” as I stumbled to the bathroom, glancing at the clock… it was 2:45 am and on my way back to bed, turned on the fan for some white noise and somehow fell back asleep while thinking Oh my gosh, no wonder I’ve been having strange dreams since they moved in! They talk and fight in the middle of the freaken’ night too!? omg!  Yeah, they were totally YELLING at each other at 2:45 AM.

Well, now I’ve  used this time to type another diatribe –instead I could have totally written about the next planet for my astrology class.  Sigh!

There was a maintenance man here yesterday asking to check in the water heater area to see if any patching of the drywall needed doing–he had the wet plaster in his hand.  I mentioned the couple downstairs and he said he’d speak to them since he was going there next.  Didn’t do much good apparently! sigh again!

Okay I’m going to grab the TV controls and put on Pandora and try to drown them out with my music.  I’d prefer total silence when I write but…. that is what I continue to prefer.  Now where is the remote?

This too shall pass as my mother used to say… it will.

Monsters Inc. will want them back to work soon!  and someday their Visa will run out!  And they will board the plane back to their Mother Country…. buh-bye.

No worries; I can outlast anything; I’m tough!  I will survive.  (I have to until my lease is up at least and until i have the $$ to move!!)

Oh, and Happy New Year!  I will post the predictions for the New Year next blog.

I really miss the High Country–I’m moving back to the mountains as soon as I can save enough money! 

My family will be fine without me.  My sister is here now for them…. besides civilization sux!

I WILL TRY TO HEAR AND SEE MY NEIGHBORS WITH THE EARS AND EYES OF COMPASSION!  THEY ARE LIVING SOULS DOING THEIR BEST TO NEGOTIATE THIS WORLD JUST LIKE ME.  THEY SUFFER AND CELEBRATE JUST LIKE ME.  I WILL DO BETTER AT SEEING MY NEIGHBORS WITH EYES AND EARS OF COMPASSION… THEY ARE AFTER ALL,  LIKE ALL HUMANS, ONLY DOING WHAT THEY BELIEVE WILL BRING THEM PLEASURE AND THE AVOIDANCE OF PAIN.  

MEANWHILE, DEAR DIVINE INTELLIGENCE, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT WHAT I CANNOT CHANGE…. PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE, ANIMALS ARE ANIMALS, FLOWERS ARE FLOWERS AND LORD AND LADY MOUTH SIMPLY ARE… AS I AM AS I AM

Compassion for Loud Downstairs Indian Neighbors and Happy New Year

Compassion
Compassion

The photo is a recent one December 2012 High Country of North Carolina — my destination!  my home!  I’ve got to get back~ ET phoning home!

Compassion is the only way around this situation.  Resentment is poison. Try to stand in their shoes Joy!  Strange country, perhaps even a strange language–they do not seem to be speaking English down there.  Both of them maybe afraid, fearful — clinging to one another.  He talks and talks over the vacuum cleaner and she to him nearly as if they’re fearful that the vac will come between them and separate them even for a moment.  They may cleave and cling to one another to away their own personal, individual fears.  Perhaps they feel as though they made a mistake to come here.  I don’t believe they have a car and someone picks them up on week days; and i know personally how horrible that feeling is–very limiting and feeling trapped.  I can now begin to feel deep compassion for their lives and situation and find more patience and tolerance for their non-stop and lively conversations.  I imagine maybe they are both deaf… partially.  This could be possible.  Maybe they could have met one another at a place for the deaf as children and have known one another for many years.  In this case they suffer a handicap and this helps me to feel more compassion for them.  Couldn’t his be why they speak so loudly? They do not know, do not realize.

I did not realize how paper-thin these walls are.  When I moved here I do not think neighbors were there–I did not hear any sounds, noises.  I imagine that they do not hear me and thus do not know how thin the walls are.  O the poor people –perhaps blaming, clinging, not knowing many others, alone without transportation in a strange country!  I feel compassion for them and want to give them a hug because of what imagined suffering they may be experiencing.

I, too, feel great compassion for myself.  I am working on my astrology class–trying to!  I do not have family responsibility currently and planned the time between Xmas and New Years that I would do extra meditation and writing of my astrology course.  Its been nearly impossible to feel alone enough in my own sanctuary, such that it is, to be able to do this.  I feel compassion for myself too for those reasons.  Every New Year Eve, my habit is to spend the entire day in quiet contemplation and then in the evening to go deeply into meditation.  It is then that predictions for the New Year come in; but this year I do not know how quiet this environment of apartment dwellers will be.  Judging from just the downstairs folks alone not to mention the conglomeration of humans here and the residential homes just on the other side of the trees beyond the balcony… well, there is also compassion for myself.  New Years is bound to be different this year.

Oh, the poor people downstairs–those poor people–this is where i must be in my mind and heart–it must be so difficult for them too.  And for myself, there is humor in this too.  I remember when I had small babies, when my children were small, and I would do my work when the babies were sleeping.  Finally it would be nap time and then I’d get to do what I needed to do!  This is how I am beginning to do with this Indian couple.  If they quiet down that is when I get out my work or do a mediation!   Can i feel more compassion and love for those humans if I think of them as my noisy children?  Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they fight, sometimes they are quiet and then a sudden outburst of voice–just like children playing in their room!

I am blogging to help myself to adjust to the changes around me.  Shhhhhh, it seems quiet down there; maybe the babies have fallen asleep or are playing a quiet game.  I am grateful.

I found the library around here yesterday; it was of course closed but it is somewhere to go–not that libraries these days are necessarily quiet either.  But is a change, to get out of this environ and into another!  O the poor  Indian people downstairs; they seem to have only each other to entertain themselves and how happy I am for them because they have each other so that they are not lonelyLet me feel happy for them when I hear their loud voices–please let me rejoice for them.  And maybe their ears are not properly functioning and this is why they call out loudly in their non-stop conversations–they cannot help their afflictions.  And even if their ears are fine, I still feel compassion for them–especially for her since he talks non-stop at her for hours on end.  She must have great tolerance; perhaps i could admire her since I would not be able to have such strength.  I’d have shoved a sock into his mouth and taped it over long ago!  Opps, there came my cynicism and sarcasm slipping in!

Dogs bark you know?  they do.  Why?  I will have to think more of it… they want to be heard I suppose.  Oh, these poor people like dogs who neither one feels heard and keeps barking and barking.  I could turn up my music louder but then I distract my own thoughts worse than the barking.  I am feeling compassion now for myself again.  I wanted to spend this time writing my astrology class and not typing out another diatribe on the blog!

Yesterday, I left and went to a store, a walk and dinner with my daughter.  Last night they were so loud i didn’t try writing, I just put a movie on to drown them out and balanced my checkbook and paid bills.  Oh, what can I do? what can I do?  I think with no furniture in their apartment the sounds cannot help but echo.  Most Indians just somehow come up with a used mattress or sleep upon the floor since some are here only 6 months and others 2 years; depending on their contract with the Lowe’s headquarters here I suppose.  T”hey sit on the floor–with their computers — this you see as you pass by if their blinds are open and lights on at night.

“My body is the garden of my soul… “these words come over my TV set  on low volume.  The voice is Deepak Chopra who is also Hindu and from India on the meditation channel in Pandora.

I wish that … well, when i do a reading for someone… i go somewhere even when I am clearly here…. i do not hear noises … barely, slightly…i am in trance devoted to the work of the reading and receiving the psychic information… and in fact while doing a reading recently, the Indian couple came home below me there…. and as usual they seem to argue and vent … perhaps things they hold in all day around others… other Indians come to drive them to work i think…but then they are very, loud and at each other in a way that sounds like venting…. and several times I am in the middle of a reading and i realize they are there in the background with their ruckus but it is like I’m not here to fully hear it because i am working and when I work I’m not here.  Does this makes some sense?  so I wish i could do that now… achieve that high state of concentration and focus…. this i must do… and I will try.  I’ve worked around with and within so many distractions when doing readings; it’s really pretty amazing now that I think of it and i remember doing readings at parties where there was a great amount of voices and noise and sounds. 

The voices are quiet now…again.  I am going to end this and open back up the word document containing the astrology course that I’m vowing to get done, by hook/by crook.  The voices below motivate this in a way.  I hope that if i have enough students that I can set aside some dollars… i am very motivated to save money for the purpose of moving back to the mountains!

Oh, the poor Indian couple and poor me!  Let me have great compassion for us all and feel more love and peace because of us! Om mani padme hum!

And   “…for as long as space remains, For as long as sentient beings remain, Until then may I too remain, To dispel the miseries of the world.”

SHANTIDEVA’S PRAYER

May all beings everywhere
Plagued by sufferings of body and mind
Obtain an ocean of happiness and joy
By virtue of my merits.

May no living creature suffer,
Commit evil, or ever fall ill.
May no one be afraid or belittled,
With a mind weighed down by depression.

May the blind see forms
And the deaf hear sounds,
May those whose bodies are worn with toil
Be restored on finding repose.

May the naked find clothing,
The hungry find food;
May the thirsty find water
And delicious drinks.

May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy;
May the forlorn find hope,
Constant happiness, and prosperity.

May there be timely rains
And bountiful harvests;
May all medicines be effective
And wholesome prayers bear fruit.

May all who are sick and ill
Quickly be freed from their ailments.
Whatever diseases there are in the world,
May they never occur again.

May the frightened cease to be afraid
And those bound be freed;
May the powerless find power,
And may people think of benefiting each other.

For as long as space remains,
For as long as sentient beings remain,
Until then may I too remain
To dispel the miseries of the world.

“Today i will notice the good things in people and today i will let go of my body mind and today i will see beauty as tenderness.  Today i will nurture the world in all my relationships…..” –-The voice of Deepak Chopra again over Pandora from his “healing meditations”.

Happy Full Moon New Year!

Happy New Year