Personal Tarot Traits – 9 of Wands dig’s deep and keeps the pace spinning on a spin bike

Personal Tarot Traits – Relating Personal Daily Experiences to a Daily Tarot Card

The 9 of Wands spinning on a spin bike!

spin bike 9 wands collage[9 of Wands — Nobody else can put me to task if I’ve already learned how to do that for myself.]

“Crank up the resistance… get off the seat and up on the pedals… Dig in! Push, push, push!  Drive, drive, drive… think of something you’ve always wanted and pretend all you have to do is to speed up a little bit more and it’s yours… dig, dig, dig!  One, two, one two.  Now’s a good time to remember why you’re doing this.  Fifteen more seconds…. you’re almost there… up and over that hill… give it a little bit more up and over the top… 5, 4, 3, 2 AND ONE! You’re there.  Good job, back it down.”

Breathless.  A sip of water.  Reviewing the effort.  How well did I stay on the pace? Did I keep up with the beat of the music?    Did I back it off at any point — why?  How can I avoid that next time?  Thinking about the effort…. another sip of water… keeping  the pedals moving… checking my heart rate monitor… remembering the watts and RPM numbers when I glanced down at the monitor and how well I held the RPM’s that I had in mind for that workout. 

Nine of Wands!  It relates to “keeping the pace”, knowing how to hang-in because of past experiences, yet also about the possibility of being one’s own worst enemy.  I’m not competitive with others–never have been really–not in the way athletes can be.  I compete against my self, my past performances and my own personal goals and ideals.

Persevering despite set backs is another quality of the 9 of wands energy.  I nearly laugh as I typed that line just now–setbacks.  I’ve gained weight, lost weight, gained it back and lost it again over this past year.  Talk about setbacks!   But they were all of my own doing — my own worst enemy.  That self-sabotage stuff can relate to this card as it applies to fighting one’s way back from setbacks.

All it takes is two weeks’ off from exercise and you start loosing fitness levels.  Oh, how I’ve experience the one throughout my life!

Keyword meanings for this card are these:  perseverance and stamina.  Sometimes we have to “hold it together” through sheer will and while this is something we are challenged with emotionally often if we can hold tough physically, it helps us to do so emotionally too.

Sometimes in life we have to continue despite fatigue!  We push onward no matter how tired we are and the more times in life we do this, the stronger we become.  Strength of heart, of will, of mind as well as the physical body are developed in this way — or so has been my experience.

On the bike there are times my legs are screaming and I just have to let them and not resist or fight against the effort that I’m making because if I don’t stay relaxed chances are high that I won’t reach my goal.  Determined effort.

This is the card that I pulled yesterday — 9 of Wands.  At some point in the 30-minute interval workout all the bikes were filled with riders and I wondered how many of us were competing in some way with the rider either side of them or at least pretending to in order to assist in their workout.

I thought of the other riders yesterday as all those rods surrounding the single human on the card.  I don’t mind being surrounded by others in that way and realized that ultimately I ride alone and like it that way.

If you work with tarot, maybe you will think of my spin bike experiences as you consider the card meanings in a reading.  I know that I will.   I love divination; just sayen’.

PS — I think of spinning as a meditation in learning to keep present, not letting mind drift.

divider 1-31

ADDENDUM – WHY AND WHEREFORE’S OF THESE TYPES OF POSTS

In the morning when I first awaken, I let guidance come in and do a waking dream for the day ahead. On one of these occasions recently I received a directive in the form of an idea laced with intensity. “Draw a card at the beginning of the day and reflect on its meaning and then revisit it at day’s end correlating the day’s experiences with the card.” That’s the treasure at the end of the rainbow so-to-speak. Doing so gives insight into the world of divination for the purpose of adding layers or additional traits to the tarot card meaning. This deeper understanding to the cards can be applied for use when doing future readings. It’s like letting Life Itself teach us the cards.

Feel Alone, Different, Like an Outcast? How Much Do You Unveil About Yourself to Others?

lonelyThat settles it!  Someone emailed me this morning asking me a question that I’ve been considering since last night.  Essentially, to bottom-line it, the individual is dealing with certain life challenges which (it sounds like) cause feelings of being alone and disconnected from the rest of the world.  I was just reflecting upon this very thing myself last night with my own physical setback here, realizing how lonely it can be (if you let it) when you’re ill or sick.  It feels very isolating–especially in my own case in that I could be contagious and purposefully avoid others and don’t blame people who would avoid me.  ‘Shoe being on the other foot’, I’ve done the same thing.  Someone coughs or sneezes or grabs for a tissue out in public, usually I’m the first one to go the other way.

But then again, this individual asks about deceit or pretending to be ‘normal’ like the others in the world (whatever normal means anyway) because the illness isn’t as obvious as a sneeze or cough.  The person finds it easier to tell those white lies or fib a little about things link vocation/career and in all relationships with others feels ‘abnormal’ in the world whilst otherwise there are no outward signs to the contrary.  Basically, the person asks me how I feel about this or if it were me how I’d handle it all.  But before we go further….

Fair warning:  I may ramble or meander being still under the influence of previous days worth of Benedryl and other such antihistamine and decongestant type drugs that my body ingested.  Then after being ‘too far gone’ and letting this “head-cold turn spring allergy” get out of hand and grow into a monster with various heads, the busy doctor’s office finally fit me in and AZithromycin (aka Z-pac antibiotics) are now fighting the battle with me.  So that’s why–I’m woozy and (until now) too ‘out of it’ to respond to email or sit at a computer in order to even focus long enough to blog or type anything meaningful.  But if you hang in through this maybe we can come out the other side with something worth the writing for me and the reading for you.

Again, for clarity’s sake, the individual with the question does not have a physically contagious malady and in fact it is not anything obvious to the casual observer (according to their description), which honestly I imagine to be more difficult than otherwise.  Why?

Because all expectations from society or ‘others’ in the world is that there exist in each life those common societal conditions considered to be ‘normal’.  But either way, maybe with my own little condition here (temporary one hopes), there’s a little something within me that can qualify me to give an answer or insight, albeit a small one.  After all, this is only a week for me whereas for this other individual, likely it’s been a lifelong issue.

But then again… well, wait.  Let’s consider it.  I think most of us spend our days here trying our best to feel normal and fit in and for the most part we can deceive ourselves into thinking we are.  Others seem to accept our explanations of ourselves as we covey those lines that mean, “I’m just like you.”  In fact, most of us probably do this more subconsciously than we realize.

I’ve long been aware of how I go ‘to the level of’ the person that I’m communicating with in order to establish a common thread in which to relate.  Take, for example, people who have a Virgo-Victim type of work ethic in the world.  You know the type.  All they talk about is how many long hours they put in and how early they rise in the morning and how crazy their boss is and basically… well, you get the idea.  You surely are not going to establish a common ground to relate to them by describing your life as one in which your values are totally different.   For example, maybe you’ve learned a few things and one is to work smart and not long or perhaps you’ve inherited a lot of money that changed your previous work ethic  Who knows why but let’s say that your life situation is totally different and doesn’t require those long hours.  Or maybe you simply aren’t wired to work 14 hour days at Walmart — and I just made that up; not knowing how many hours Walmart employees work in a day.  But you get the idea.

So are you being deceitful if your way of life is simply different (for various and sundery reasons) and…. well, here’s an example.  Let’s say I used to have a job once upon a time like that one perhaps and so can honestly relate and say, “Whew honey!  I hear ya’ sister.  Been there done that!”  So am in being deceitful?  Or maybe I did some work for my own business in which I worked day and night without much rest (like when I created my first website).  I was a self-employed task master!  (sometimes being your own boss you can be more of a slave-driver than any outside employer).  Either way, I can still relate and don’t have to feel dis-connected.

Well, okay.  Maybe those are silly examples.

I think it’s more a matter of ‘taking it on’ in a way.  In other words, helping the other person feel better about who they are by sort of pretending to meet their standards of how they see normal.  It’s like playing their game with them so that they feel okay about who they are and what they’re doing.

Sort of like agreeing with a crazy person–why would you try to convince them that their not if they are?  Now it’s true that they would think that it is ‘we’ who are the crazy ones when in fact it is ‘we’ who realize it is them!

Now who is crazy and who isn’t–pretty silly thing to speculate, right?

I don’t know if it’s best to pretend you are similar to others to help them feel okay if it makes you feel ‘not okay’.  But then again.  Whose to say whose crazy and who isn’t and whose okay and whose not?

The thing is that everybody is really alone with their own stuff and is pretending to be part of the conditioned society.  Ever hear that story about the emperor who has no clothes?

Being different — you being the only one willing to admit the emperor guy is naked –can be a lonely place to stand BUT ONLY IF YOU LET IT.  And that’s a key.

Got to toss in another one-liner and that’s the saying about feeling lonely in a crowd.  I’d pose to the individual who emailed the question about feeling deceitful by pretending to be like the others who can brag or discuss their life because it’s more accepted by consensus society to consider that everybody feels that way at a core level but most people spend the majority of their life trying to ‘fit in’ and be like what the consensus standards dictate.  Why do they do it?  Not all, of course, but some are afraid to be different or not-accepted.

In the end, we are born alone and we die alone but now we’re here we are with others; yet each of us is unique and different while at the very exact same time, we’re all the same!  A Zen riddle or a Paradox.

But most people don’t think about these things–too busy trying to fit in and make their mark or to achieve something to prove they are/were here.  Not all, of course, we have others consumed with helping others in some way and doing it going to a selfless level and so they probably never consider these kinds of things.  Good on them!

We’re all like that at times too of course.  Maybe the thing to consider is that we’re not like all people at all times–we have some similarities to others, always.  To find those and to relate to them is not being deceitful unless you believe it is.

Generally, ‘its a pickle’ as the saying goes.  And how a person views a thing or an attitude or a life situation is a personal decision.  I’ve felt like the outcast in my family and in any career or job I’ve held throughout my entire life and my work with intuition and astrology is fringe as compared to society at large.

I’ve not felt that separation from others so acutely until recently with regard to my health.  I’ve been sick before with flu or respiratory symptoms–bronchitis or the flu but never before did I feel as alone or cut-off as this time.  It was a different experience and one which has given me moments to pause, thinking toward the end-of-life scenario possibilities that we all face eventually.

What have those moments of pause revealed?  One thing that comes to the fore is how precious life is and what a gift it is and the realization of how much of my life I’ve spent resisting the many gifts Life as offered me by worrying about things like the gosh darn bills that come in the mail every month and the monthly rent that’s due!

I’m nearing 68 years old which by today’s standards is still young but when I was a child that was really, really, really old!  Anyway, life is more precious to me all the time and a few side trips into isolation from illness enabled me to have a preview of what my end days may be like.  And I see how it is a choice.

Isolation (whether forced or imposed) and whether it comes from being the oddball in society in any way — be that way due to illness of any type of different-ness  — is a gift really.  Those feelings  arising from that situation come to us as a catalyst to go within and reflect, resulting in the ability to make a choice as to whether or not we permit them to create a guilty state of being or a lonely state of being.  Its a choice.

To the person making the inquiry, I’d add this  To consider the fact that we (he/she and I) are aware enough to consider these matters is also a rare gift.  And we can use the awareness to create (or ‘be’) an example in the world which is either positive or negative but either way which creates by its very nature “teaching moments” as the saying goes.

No, I don’t mean that we have to ‘spill it’ to people who don’t care or who are strangers.  With those folks it’s probably best to play the game (pretend to be who they can most easily accept) in to help them (not ourselves) feel comfortable with interactions.

But to those who we do open up to and do reveal or expose ourselves, we do so and hope to create some awareness in those others or perhaps plant a seed in some way.

Is this making sense?  I mean look at a physician, a doctor..  Is it appropriate for him to go around examining people when he’s at a picnic or at the gym doing his workout?  The doctor doesn’t reveal himself when it’s not appropriate either.  Would it not be the same with anyone else?

I am feeling a bit weary now being that the antibiotic and I are still ‘fighting the good fight’ as the saying goes.  And the body is telling me to rest a bit now.

I don’t know if there may be a line here or a word or two here in what I’ve written today that is helpful to the email inquirer or to the casual reader of this blog.  I can only hope.

Oh, and one thing that has come from my own recent challenge is that it has create a desire within me to ‘visit the sick’ in some way as a volunteer in the community.  Now that I’ve had the personal experiences of how that feels–that loneliness of being sick–which I do not choose to entertain it (choice), it has inspired me to help others who may be feeling this alone feeling which I choose not to forget.

Anyway, I no longer volunteer at the soup kitchen (I lost my place with that when I moved) — this may be a way that I can do a little something on a volunteer basis again and I intend to look into it.

Perhaps, as a suggestion, the one who feels deceitful about their life could find (like me) something to do as a volunteer to help balance out those feelings.

Well, the person did write and asked me how I would handle it or what I would say about his/her “unveiling their true self to others”, using his/her words.

I will end this with the hope that there’s something within this post that you can use for your next step or as at least a partial answer to your question.

Another thought as I conclude, is that in some areas of my life, such as in places within my own control where i can keep a certain illusion of anonymity or where I feel there may be a greater acceptance, I tend to reveal quite a lot. Such as in my classes or in this blog, my website or weekly newsletter.  There’s a time and place for everything. One has to ‘read’ the situation, become sensitive, and follow ones intuition about what to say to who and when about one’s identity.  I always say the stomach or the ‘gut’ feelings can lead us to knowing when to speak and when to be quiet about ourselves.

I don’t tell every tom-dick-harry or man-on-the-street that I dig Divination, do Tarot, love Mysticism,  Buddhism and Hinduism (a few of my interests) and that I do astrology or that I teach about intuition or ‘read’ energy for others.  It’s still fairly well Fringe for the most part–I get that.  Not everyone is going to understand I’m not in cahoots with “the devil” like one of my own sister’s believes!  Also, one does have to maintain a certain sense of humor.

I’ve nearly worn myself out now…  I think what helps is to try to remember that we’re all alone with who we are and our divine self, the one within and that nobody is ever  going to ever fully understand us anyway–for me there’s a certain freedom in remembering that.

Time to lay the recovering body down a while for now….

Bottom line:  All is Well and Exactly as it Should Be!  

Meaning of the New Moon in Aquarius January 20, 2015 and the Aquarian in Your Life and The Chariot with Queen of Cups

New Moon times.  Could these be times in which the door to the psyche is open for us to enter and redirect our play just a little bit–at least emotionally?  And is it a time for us to create and debate and elevate as well as fixate about our emotional nature?  New Moon times could be  the most important part of our creative nature since it sets the tone for how we interpret the world.  Each month the dye is cast so-to-speak by our response to life at the New Moon time.  If we could mark the time and be aware of it, we could control the nature of the dye we cast for the upcoming 28’ish to 30-day lunar cycle.

If you happen to know  the house that the New Moon is in (for you), you can derive more insight from the vibes but even if you don’t know that information, it’s still beneficial to open to setting a new tone for your emotional responses to life.    (If you should happen to know what house 0° Aquarius falls in your natal chart, this will give you an idea for the areas of your life that will be activated and in what life categories the potential for renewal will be natural and beneficial to cast your emotional die for the next 30-day cycle.   But even if you do not know which house your 0° Aquarius is located, you can still benefit from simply knowing the sign itself.

So we have a New Moon in Aquarius!  This sign rules the 11th house of hopes, dreams and also carries a humanitarian and “friends” as general meaning archetypes.  Innovative thinking is part of the Aquarius vibe as well as freedom seeking qualities being a part of this energy.  In evolutionary soul astrology, it also links with “the wound” of the past lives.

So in any of those ways we can cast the dye for this next month–changing our emotional responses to life in those areas.

(Again, if you know the house of your natal chart that holds 0° Aquarius, you can factor in that information as well.)

I just had a brilliant idea!  (Now that’s the stuff that Aquarius is made of actually–brilliant ideas.)  Anyway, why not draw a few tarot cards to add insight to the Aquarius New Moon meaning here?  Why not?  It’s my blog and I can do what I want!–that last sentence (too) is very ‘Aquarian’ in nature.  🙂

Let me first reiterate that a New Moon relates to heightened sensitivity to a particular energy for the purpose of casting new dye for the purpose of renewing the potential of that part of your psyche.  Using emotion to rededicate yourself in some way–that’s another way to say it.  We can toss in “desire nature” as well here in that what we desire usually has a rather significant emotional derivative so using that energy to create something new in our lives.

Let me draw two cards now to help us to know more about this month’s New Moon in Aquarius, asking how we can best use this time for our highest benefit and therefore highest benefit of all.  I’m going to use the Hanson-Roberts tarot deck for this one; here we go.  (By the way, I love the images on this deck and the cards are small and fit nicely in my hands during the shuffle.  This is a deck that I used to program meanings from the divinitory method using my own memories.)

I drew THE CHARIOT and QUEEN OF CUPS. 

Chariot with Queen of Cups

Well, first impression:  male image/female image so a hint at balance confirmed by the yin and yang on the Chariot.  All those stars on the Chariot card really do remind me of the sign of Aquarius and now the Cup the Queen holds, definitely relates to emotions (cups equal emotion in the tarot system).

The Chariot also speaks of using one’s will, directing one’s energy and being determined; it is also about practice and practice making perfect.  Practicing what?  The Queen holds that answer–understanding your emotional reactions.  Satisfaction comes from practicing using one’s will to understand emotional responses and to keep on that path and exerting control in some way to achieve a goal.

Sometimes we let our emotions spin out of control.  Yet, these cards speak of the suggestion that this New Moon cycle the directive is about making it a goal to control emotions so that they do not spin out, causing us to break down, go off our intended path and by failing to maintain our balance and by neglecting to keep the positive/negative pull of our nature (yin/yang) under control.

I think of the Queen of Cups always as it relates to intuition and also empathy/compassion — those energies, too, need to be balanced so that emotions don’t spin out.

The Queen sits by an ocean and this hints, to me, that water can help in our endeavors this month and if there is a goal that you believe you’d like to reach regarding water in any way, this New Moon in Aquarius would support that.   Many people feel very “at peace” near water or even in water.  Aquarius, after all, is the “water bearer” (despite it being an ‘air’ sign.  The Chariot does relate to the Sign of Cancer and Cancer is ruled by the Moon and Moon energy always relates to water.

The New Moon
The Sun and Moon are joined together to create something new during the New Moon time

So on all levels I do get that a message for this New Moon time relates to emotion and the goal of harnessing those in some way that relates to Aquarius energy — friends, hopes, dreams, humanitarian causes, group energy or perhaps it relates to a person with the Sun sign Aquarius with the understanding that the Sun and Moon are neck-in-neck right along side one another at the same degree when there’s a New Moon.

Give it another go here–what I mean is to consider reading this post over again with what your intuition tells you Aquarius means to you!  Cast the dye consciously.

Final thought:  is there a way that you can balance emotions for a new cause, a new reason in this new lunar phase?