Tarot 8 of Pentacles Guidance for Loss and Grief of Change

8 of Pentacles A while ago I happened to be searching for information for someone from the archives of my own blog and came across a post that I wrote when I lived back in the mountains.  A pang of intense emotion accompanied the read remembering my life then as it contrasts to today’s challenges since I moved.  I’m sure this has to be a universal sentiment—as most feelings are!  What do we do when we want to go back to the past but simply cannot?  How do we handle it when our present situation falls so short of a past that we feel so fondly about?  This could apply to just about any kind of loss—this question.  I want something right now—an insight, some guidance, or wisdom to help me with this feeling.

There are many tools to use—Lord knows!  I have a huge toolbox too!  But for now my tarot cards are handy, so I did a shuffle and up came the EIGHT OF PENTACLES.  What message or insight does this card bring?

First, I’m taken by the fact that the man on the card is secluded in his work with the town or humanity in the distance.  That sure describes the situation—civilization was in the distance back then.  Today I am literally in the middle of other people’s lives—bumping into them in my own apartment even though I live alone!  [Long story – you don’t want to know!]

So first thing is that the card, in this case, describes the dilemma or situation that is being asked about.  That is so true of how it is when I work with the cards—it lets me know I’m on track; it’s validating.

This card is about developing skills and talents.  I suppose that is what grief, loss and change do—we develop new skills and talents because of that.  We want to go back and can’t (for whatever the reason) and here we are—it’s new, different and we just would rather not participate in the new reality!  Yet, here we are.

Well, that’s one insight to help with this feeling… this pang of wishing things could be like they used to be!  We have to remember that we developed skill and talents in that old situation and our life now is about developing new skills.

Yes, I hear ya’.  I don’t want to either and don’t like it one bit.  I want to love my life like I used to! 

The 8 of Pentacles is about broadening the horizon on an earthly level.  The Hermit card is most it’s opposite… the Hermit is how I used to be—alone, solitude.  Hermit is about inner knowledge and 8 of Pentacles is about outer, earthly knowledge.  Well, I’ll say this much.  I’ve learned a lot about the smells of Indian cooking, and hookah smoking and the vocalizations of Indians too!  More than I ever wanted to know but then again I’d never have known any of that if I’d stayed in the mountains.

This card also is about preparing, being prepared for something—well, whatever it is, I hope it’s going to be joyful because I’ve had enough of the opposite to last me a while!   I guess anyone who’s suffered a loss will understand that firsthand and say the very same thing.

Discipline is another aspect of this card or this part of our life journey represented ‘by’ this card.  But we are not supposed to look for an end result with these types of situations –these experiences that have us wanting to go back to how it used to be—we’re not supposed to look for an outcome.  We’re supposed to just get through them knowing we are being prepared for something in future somehow and that we are developing some type of discipline and training.  And we must try to elevate our sorrow or feelings of loss and use the depth of feeling to reach out and help others.  I’d like to think that writing this blog post may be doing that in some way.

In our life we are guided, led and sometimes shoved in directions the help us “push the envelope” so-to-speak so that we don’t become complacent.  Or perhaps we have perfected our skill and the universe had more confidence that we could handle it that we ourselves do at the present moment!

Maybe we are to become more fully conscious of our work, our true work. And to do that we cannot go back, only forward—whether we like the current pangs of desire to return or not.   If nothing else we will become experts on dealing with wanting to go back and dealing with the feelings of not being able to!

This card is encouraging us to have confidence in our skills and talents and to understand that we are learning something new that we will use to bring to our life to benefit ourselves and others—we are being prepared to elevate our skills.

THE HIEROPHANT

The Hierophant AKA The High Priest
The Hierophant AKA The High Priest

I wanted more not being fully satisfied with the information from the 8 of Pentacles.

I put all the major arcana cards together, wanting more of  MAJOR insight so-to-speak.  Whats the bigger picture?  ask the Major Aracana.

In the Hero’s Journey, the Hierophant points to “education of the hero”.

In that sense, our education–yours and mine reader.

Hierophant is the name given to the High Priest.  One task of the Hero faces is the search for meaning–that’s certainly what I’m doing.

It’s also about conforming and adapting to “the system”—wow.   Learning by living with others—well, I’m certainly doing THAT in this apartment situation in which when the neighbors talk, they talk to me too since their voices are in my room as well as their own.  They speak Hindi and i have no idea what they are saying though.

Alright, i agree that I need to mediate on this a bit more.  Maybe that ALONE will keep me from being melancholy about my past!

I may come back to this post to add more as I reflect upon this.

ADDENDUM:  this is me coming back to this post after 5 days.  Around the time of the original post, it was the anniversary of my mother’s death, three years ago.  I don’t know if this was subconsciously affecting me or the stress of living with the Indian couple below me which felt that day like a mini-breakdown of some kind–on my last nerve with their constant noise.  However, shortly after that post I went into a meditation period which lasted 10 hours with only short breaks for bathroom and a bowl of soup–otherwise I sat in a semi-lotus pose on my bed chanting and turning to my old ritual of praying the rosary and periods of complete silence and breath work.  In that 10 hour period the messages of the 10 of Pentacles and Hierophant were much clearer.  I was actually taking the advice of the cards—doing my spiritual work away from the human community (my meditation music gave me the space) and turning to the old religious-type traditions of prayer, chanting which merged catholocism, hinduism and tibetan buddhism.  I knew then that i was doing the Hierophant “thing” without knowing it until that moment.  In the midst of the 10 hours i asked for one message or insight not wanting to clutter up the energy but to rather simplify it and clear it instead.  The one message was given at my request.  CENTER is the word that I heard and then I heard BETWEEN THE TWO PILLARS and then I knew that it was the Hierophant card meaning that I was being given and i was doing that very thing so it was as if it all came together.  The next day i remained in that quiet centered state also.  I am blessed to be able to schedule my own work and life and living alone I was able to devote myself to 10 hours of meditation as therapy doing my spiritual work. 

Being in touch with the needs of the moment! The Time Tamer of Life!

Every day is a NEW BEGINNING This blog post will be short… I’ve more astrology charts to make notes on and besides, Grey’s Anatomy season premier starts in less than 2 hours!  So I will have to drop what I’m doing and bolt to my sister’s apartment which is quite simply around the corner—a mere two second jog on foot!

(She has cable, and I refused the temptation to look at those talking heads on CNN, etc.  And I’m so happy I made that choice, except for Greys; I just watch it on HULU the next day usually. My sister invited everyone over; she has a big screen TV too — man O man they all look different on her TV!)

I’m still getting used to being busy and integrating infringes on my personal time through assisting my family … O and have I mentioned my daughter is engaged and her engagement party is this weekend?

I’m not a social animal in those ways and having to shake the dust of my hermit-self and the hermit doesn’t like it very much.  To the point—there is objective time and SUBJECTIVE time.  I’ve got to do better with the latter of the two but I’m realizing how much resistance I have and how stubborn too.

A work in progress and it’s all inside where I am making peace with it by really bringing it down to what it took pages to get to in my last blog.  And that is simply living this affirmation:  “I am in touch with the needs of this moment.”  And that, in itself, helps me to be in touch with the “me” within so that I can center and be at peace no matter what schedule I’m trying to juggle.

Now if I can do that while meeting all of the groom’s family this weekend (nothing I resist doing more than making small talk with people I’ve never met—not that I’m not good at it because I am and that’s not false pride—it’s just something I thought well… “it is what it is” as they say but my old hermit wants nothing to do with any of  it or any new relationships either for that matter! The inner child goes, “Awwhh, do we HAVE TO go???”  and now suddenly I’m hoping the future groom’s family doesn’t read my blog… haha  I’m sure that they don’t.

Gate’, gate’ paragate’ …parasamgate, bodhi, svaha!  

Besides, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with….

Yeah, okay, whatever…

I’d better get going on those astrology charts that I have to make notes upon.  I just wanted to blog that I’m making progress with this time thing… but its not been easy.

Bridezilla, Kid-zilla and finding Peace in the Hurricane of Humanity! What’s going on with Mom’s and Kids these days?

Yeah, well there it is—Truth.  We recognize it when we see it and do our best to live it. 

“We can never make peace in the outer world, until we make peace with ourselves.”  –Dalai Lama 

We tend to want to think of those types of cliché’s on global scales but what we see globally starts with individuals. 

I’ve had some trouble making peace with myself – my psyche has been disturbed as I continually adjust to being around so many humans.  I’ve been a loner in solitude for so long that—well, maybe too long.  I’m in a community now and it is unavoidable—humans are bumping into me left and right and what I’m noticing about children especially is mystifying.

I watch these kids rule over their mothers and the mom’s giving in, caving at the child’s demands.  Further, this lack of respect and abusive behavior of kids toward their mom’s is very disturbing.  I stood in line at a subway sandwich shop late in the day and next to me an overweight little boy (probably around age 9 or 10) demanded extra meat on his sandwich.  She reminded him that they’d previously had a conversation about it and she wasn’t going to “play that game” with him she said.  I was barely noticing their interaction until he raised his voice and to his mother said, “I feel like punching you in the face right now.”  She rubbed his back and said okay that he could have extra meat on his order!  (What?!)

I don’t want to feel the vibes of these types of exchanges–in fact, I recoil but still take it in.  Chaos comes in and peace goes out the window.   I’ve got to do better! 

Earlier yesterday I went to the pool to do my exercise and a little tyke was doing her best to get her mother’s attention and her mother was doing her best to ignore the kid while reading a book!  The exchange that went on for the whole 30 minutes that I was there was… the power plays and manipulations from this little one was pretty astounding climaxed by this 4-year-old telling her mother “We’re going right now” and the mom actually got up and left with the child. 

Later while in a clearance store this 8-year-old is screaming at her mother about a product she wanted arguing for the purchase and the mother simply allowed the back-talk and disrespect!  What in the world is going on with these humans?  I walked to the other side of the store and shortly afterward the same little girl ends up on my aisle and screams, “watch out!”, as she nearly hit me with a shopping cart that was too big and awkward for her to handle.

It was a week ago when an out of control little boy who wreaking havoc at the pool “handled” his mother in a jaw-dropping way.  He was being extremely loud and sassing her at every opportunity until she said to him, “Now you’ve really done it and we’re going to have to leave—get out of the pool.”  He dove under water every time she tried to speak to him until she eventually got into the pool herself and drug him out.  “We’re leaving”, she said.  He threw himself down in a poolside chair and scolded her, “30 seconds!  I will sit here for 30 seconds and then I’m going back in the pool.” 

To my amazement, she agreed to his terms and said, “Okay, but you cannot get up before then and don’t even try!” 

What?  What happened to “We’re leaving”?  He mocks her then over and over about wanting her towel until one of the other mothers gets out of her chair and yells at the unruly child, “Look little boy, don’t talk to your mother that way!”  With this the kid swam off to the other side of the pool for a while but within a few minutes started back toward her direction calling her “fat” and “chubby” and other names equally as demeaning.  What did the mother do?  She ignored him.  I left the pool. 

Certainly I’m noticing these things based on what I’m feeling within me and sometimes, I’ll have to admit, it isn’t exactly peaceful being around others and having to be part of their drama simply going to the pool, walking through a discount store or buying a sandwich!  As a psychic or sensitive, I’m swimming in other people’s energy much more than I’d like to and am still having to grapple with how to do this thing properly—this living in the big city and having so many humans dabbling in my auric field is something I’m not practiced at.  Talk about coming down from the hermitage—the world seems to have totally changed!  What has happened to children’s discipline and respect?  What is going on with these mothers? What kind of parenting relationships are these?

I have to work on my inner peace building techniques if I’m going to be able to hang out around here and function.  Do I need to shore up my boundary?   Do my best to stay out of shock and awe when these kids freak out at their mothers?  Do I focus on having no judgment about what is not my affair while resisting the urge to petition local government to implement some sort of mandatory parenting classes?  Okay, that last one is pretty far out there, I’ll admit.

I even heard the adults at the pool one day talking about how lazy their teenagers are like they have no power over how many hours they lay in bed! 

I think I’m beginning to understand why the T.V. Shows about super nannies are popular.  It seems that on TV we have bride-zilla monsters and kid-zilla monsters too. 

I have to make peace within my own inner heart, mind and soul in order to be able live in a world where peace is not… well, it’s not like living in the forest like I’ve been accustomed to.  I’m still a work in progress (and the parents and children are too) and it seems that I, for one, am being challenged in a new or at least different way to re-establish peace within. 

Ahhh, to be the calm eye of the storm in the middle of the hurricane of humanity…  I’ll get there again.  I’ve just been a bit out of practice!  I remember what I used to do way back when and I will have to do it again–blogging helps me work this all out.  I used to send love–toss out a pillar of light to surround the folks or send a beam of light from my 3rd eye.  Yeah, I remember now… I’d run upstairs (go UP in my mind and heart) and from that point in consciousness send love infused light in the direction of the disturbing force.  It benefits them and me; perhaps you’d like to try it too should you happen run into a kid-zilla with a soft mom out there.  Or if you, like me, just came down off the mountain and rejoined humanity! 

Ending with a Buddhist thought:  May all beings be well with hearts filled with kindness and respect for one another.