I am thinking of the approaching New Year as would not be an unexpected thing to do on the 28th of December. I pulled two tarot cards at random with the intention of receiving some guidance through divination: Nine of Cups and Knight of Wands. What strikes me abut this card combo relates to taking a moment to bask in the light of achievements for the year in review. There are no other humans on this card nor are there any houses or cities within view. There is an aloneness. People throughout the year may have Continue reading
Apathy and indifference! How to “handle that” when there’s a lot to do and you don’t feel like doing it? I drew a tarot card for insight. I have packing to do and my heart’s not exactly in that–except when the guy downstairs play’s his guitar and sings like a dog howling at the Moon. That’s motivation! But back to the card I drew. We all have times like that, don’t we? Stuff to do and we don’t feel like it and know we will never feel like doing that thing–right? Well, the KNIGHT OF WANDS brings guidance. He’s indifferent and apathetic at times on his negative side but he also has great courage and he moves forward, although awkwardly. All he needs is a cause… to create an attitude of service to others and then the apathy disappears.
Fire within—there has to be some type of desire that is stronger than what you don’t want to do. I don’t want to go in the direction that I have chosen to go but I don’t want to maintain the current course either—that feels like being “between the rock and the hard place” as that saying goes. I don’t want to go where I’m going but I don’t want to stay here either and I know that I have to go—must go and really DO want to go! But where I’m going doesn’t seem all that enticing either. But I know I will be helping someone and will be able to save money. And it’s only temporary—that last part is what I need to keep remembering!
So I have to pack and there’s the pickle! I drew a card for my apathy and indifference and lack of motivation about that.
It’s interesting that the herbal tarot connects this card [Knight of Wands] with MONKSHOOD which is actually a very poisonous plant. It’s a metabolic stimulant and in small doses can be a used [Chinese medicine] for low metabolism.
Suddenly I think of using this apathetic indifference about packing as an athletic challenge—use it as a “work out”. Make it exercise, work fast and it becomes nearly aerobic. Yeah, okay—maybe that is something that I could use to change the attitude and motivate self.
What about selfless service? I could think about how I will be helping my sister save money and how we will both be using less energy—conserving mother earth; things like that. Yeah, maybe I could expand that and make it work as an antidote to my apathy and indifference about packing.
I can think about the guitar player neighbor downstairs and his howling with his guitar and how I’ll be rid of that aversion.
I can think about how poisonous this angry kid’s energy is and how getting away from that will be a good thing.
Determination is what is needed when this card comes up in reply to a question. In this case, the question or concern is about my not wanting to do what I know I must—continue packing!
Between a rock and a hard place! That’s how I feel. I can’t stay and I feel resistance to going where I’m going. Where did that phrase come from anyway? Of course we know that it means, “In difficulty, faced with a choice between two unsatisfactory options.” Just like “between the devil and the deep blue sea”.
Well, Knights [in tarot] like adventure and change! Moving from the mountains in the first place was that indeed! And another move will be adventure and change too—moving in with my LEO sister and ARIES niece! If you know astrology then, yeah, beginning to see why the lack of motivation and apathy? But the good news is neither of them plays guitar (same notes over and over and over) while howling like a dog at the Moon. I must think of myself as a monk going into a monastery! devote my time for the benefit of all sentient beings and do my best to create some merit, somehow. Must review the 37 practices of a Bodhisattva! Must be a better Buddhist!
I don’t think Ram Das really said this but there was a recent quote on Facebook that read, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” Oh, enlightenment and initiations and packing and never mind all that because my daughter just texted me about going to the Y for a work out.
Didn’t want to pack anyway! It’s a no brainer; I’m outa here! I’ll pack some more later or another day! I think about Monkshood and motivation and attitude while I swim and maybe come back with a better attitude. Something. For now, I’m outahere!
Almost there… 42 out of 53 programs and features and installations are now installed. My computer has cleaned out it’s closets too it appears–the need was there of course and I’m helping by installing the recovery disks. I hope it was just a virus and my hard drive is okay!
I guess I will know soon! I’d like more information about this whole thing! Is it too much to ask why? I think that’s really what I’d like to know. Let me shuffle those ole’ cards and ask the oracle!
Before I get those cards, I’m laughing at myself–that old famous happy “Why Me?” phrase is is echoing in my mind. Well, what we get here is the card, KNIGHT OF WANDS. Maybe I needed a conquest? It sure feels that way (Knights go on conquests)! I’ve done enough troubleshooting in this past week to amount to something like a knight on a conquest!
I just turned to check the laptop’s self-restore progress and am laughing. The computer brain is rating it’s performance. The screen reads, “Rating System Performance”. I am asking myself how I’d rate my own brain’s performance!
But back to the Knight of Wands–adventure, excitement and risk! Those are keywords of for the Knight of Wands archetype. This is the part of our psyche that is not afraid (unafraid) of the unknown. Well, I’ve got to tell you that reinstalling an operating system and facing the fear of needing a new hard drive certainly relates to that.
Sometimes I think of the Knights in Tarot as relating to Squares in Astrology — both indicate that some type of action is necessary. I’d say it’s true that action was necessary in resolving my computer issues! But I’m still not getting to the answer “WHY”.
The Knight of Wands archetype is about someone who wants action and wants it NOW, preferably YESTERDAY if possible. So, impatience. I wonder if I messed around too much with checking my drivers and caused my own problems? Or maybe it was the MS Office guy who took control of my computer to resolve a problem with Word and in the middle of that process the Internet connections, wireless network connections and all restore points (and god knows what else) was lost!
Were we both impatient?
I feel that now it is going to be a fun time consuming job to reinstall all my programs; my astrology program and others and to restore all my documents, pictures with CLICK FREE; hopefully the CLICK FREE will make that part easy! Plug in the USB port and let it do it’s thing.
I’ve often thought of the Knight of Wands as someone who is awkward about what he’s doing and really doesn’t know exactly what is actually ‘is’ doing–almost like that saying that goes this way, “I know just enough about a subject to be dangerous.”
Well, I’d best get back to it here! I’m reloading the Norton program here and it’ about done.
I’m satisfied that the answer to my question had to do with someone not knowing what they were doing on my computer and then being impatient to boot! Was that me or the Microsoft tech? Or was it a little bit of both of us? I’d like to share the blame with him– ha ha. Of course, who knows how he’d feel about that!?
I’ve been cleaning my closets here at home and dumping out old files—very literally. Paper files of old business receipts and car repairs and tossing them out! It seems my computer has wanted to do that same thing. And now the closets in my home and also the closets on my computer are cleaned which is a good thing I suppose no matter what or who caused it.