Merge, Harmonize or Maintain Separation? Living with Mumbai Neighbors in the USA!

MUMBAI
Mumbai!!

Maybe it is a matter of merging and harmonizing—and not being/feeling/trying so hard to be separate.  Maybe that’s the lesson from Lord and Lady Mouth of Mumbai!  Okay, so I am being sarcastic and cynical and I shouldn’t call them that.  You may want to cut me a break with that since I’ve been up until after 1 AM listening to their gyrations, door slamming and loud-mouthing!  Yeah, I make myself stay up until they quiet down because IF NOT I have horrible dreams from their fighting and door slamming.  Yeah, talk to the management?  I have, they say call the police or slam the wall or stomp my feet and they will get the message.

It is about merging and harmonizing instead of fighting it!  And them!  And myself!  At least I think that’s the approach.  After all, what I’ve seen of India—aside from the ashram of the late Sathya Sai Baba—and PBS documentaries showing crowded streets and dog-eat-dog chaos amounts to a sum total of that and the movie,  Slumdog Millionaire!  Their way of life is probably 1,000 different than my own—they are obviously used to merging with others more than I am.  With a population like that I’d suppose you’d have to know how –and I’d not be able to survive in India the way I’m not able to even merge or harmonize with my downstairs neighbors!

Many of us get this concept of India that everyone there is like Deepak Chopra or are meditation masters.  I cannot tell you how many people from India that I’ve met who say they don’t even know how to meditate—so they’re just like Americans in that sense.  I can’t lump the whole culture; that’s not fair and of course I’m blogging while sleep deprived here on top of being frustrated with the paper-thin walls here while now knowing that I’m hugely overpaying in rent for such a shoddily and cheaply constructed structure.  But there it is—fact.  It is what it is.

Some light here involves my soon to be married daughter who lives in suburbia in a beautiful community of condo—it’s gorgeous!  In the summer time their pool is supervised and the last 10 minutes of every hour of the day they clear the kids from the pool so that adults can do lap swimming.  YES!!!!  She mentioned that when they buy their house in another year that they would … well, she’s going to talk it over with her soon to be husband, but she indicated that it’s possible that they could rent their condo to me!!  I do miss the mountains and planned to go back – something more deeply affirmed within my since the super-mouths of Mumbia moved in below me.  (If you’ve not been paying attention to my blog, they have earned that well-deserved name with me due to their 24-7 marathon dialogues interspersed with sudden fights that spring up just when you suspect they’ve finally fallen asleep throughout the wee early mornings!)  They don’t leave for Monster’s Inc. (Lowes Headquarters) until around 9:30 AM but I’m up by 6 AM to welcome my granddaughter in while we wait together for the time for her school bus—her mother has a long drive to work and has to leave early.

Oh, why not put on a fan for white noise?  Yeah?  I hear them over the sound of the fan and if I fall asleep before they do (their fighting and loud voices beneath my bed can still be heard anyway), the result for is crazy, horrible dreams—nightmares.  Bad dreams were coming every night (not typical for me AT ALL) until I woke straight up out of one and heard them fighting beneath me….duhh, no wonder!   Honestly, these folks go on-and-on-and-on-and-on and never give it a rest!  I’ve never heard anything like it and really if there was an award given for people who talk, bicker and fight non-stop—they’d be the clear winners!

I was feeling the FLIGHT OR FIGHT feeling in my bed while reading my spiritual book—that’s when they first moved in you see and I didn’t realize that there were new neighbors.  Suddenly in the midst of my reading i feel that whole ‘fight or flight’ panic in my body.  Really? where’s that coming from?  I put my book down to go within to figure it out when i realize that i think i hear a voice, man’s voice.  No I think, I must be imagining it.  My fan is on, vibrating, making white noise.  I go back to my book.  Again, louder, voices…. still feeling my heart race and sort of panic feeling.  What is going on here?  so am I crazy?  I get up to turn off the fan to find out and yeah!  Its Lord and Lady Mumbi –the downstairs neighbors–going on and on yelling to each other beneath my bed!

Okay anyway, i’ve got one idea–it could help.  I am going to get some inexpensive door mirrors at Wal Mart and put them mirror side down beneath my bed hoping that whatever energy comes up will be forced back down via the mirrors!   I’ll let you know how it works.  It won’t muffle sound but may direct energy back down so i don’t feel it in my body.  In this instance of the Mumbai neighbors, the fact that I’m a sensitive, a psychic, is more a hindrance than a help.

Enough kvetching!  The only thing I can do is try to harmonize instead of insisting that I maintain separation.  I want to say this is MY sacred space and your voices and door slamming sounds are NOT ALLOWED—GET OUT@!!  But, how realistic is that with these paper thin walls?  Their voices just carry—they’re the opposite of ‘soft talkers’.  I suspect one or both may be partially deaf –this I try to believe to evoke compassion for them which at 1 AM is really difficult, but I do try!

Anyway, one coping mechanism is to run the dishwasher through a few cycles; that muffles Mumbai for about an hour and a half.  I put my TV onto the Buddhist channel the rest of the time in an effort to change the vibe –but really in the evenings my habit is to meditate or read; usually both.  How long can I listen to the Dalai Lama’s translators or the sound of my own dishwasher before that gets old too?  Well, there’s always old re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy or a Harry Potter DVD, but the point is that’s all me still trying to separate instead of merging and harmonizing.

Anyway, that’s my thought for today—it has to do with my observation that I am trying to separate myself from humanity and humanity is right underneath my feet letting me know it’s not going anywhere!  Nice!  And they say the universe has no sense of humor!

Part of this is not their fault!  The shouting and slamming doors—yeah, I’m going to have to talk to them about that stuff that goes on after 10:00 PM; there’s no need for THAT!  The other part of it is just them being them—humans!  Humans’ way too close to my turf!  Boy O boy do I miss the old tenant … a single guy who just played his TV … a movie every now and then.  No problem; I’d go into the bedroom, turn on my fan and read my book.  Sure.  I’d hear him on the phone now and again but ‘what the heck’, a person has to talk once in a while.  But these folks—OMG!  It’s like a 24 hour phone call–!!

The weekend is upon us—and really I’d like to work more on writing my astrology class but why bang my head against the wall?  It’s impossible to think straight with the motor-mouths of Mumbai going at it all day long!  So, I’ll be coming up with a plan B today; maybe I can take my whole act over to my daughter’s house—she’s 5 doors down and hardly ever hears her neighbors.

Well, they don’t leave for Monster’s Inc for another 45 minutes.  I’ve been totally killing time here waiting for them to leave for their jobs.  I may go back to bed for a while which I really don’t like doing b but you won’t find THIS hard to believe—I’ve got a sore throat and head cold since yesterday afternoon.  Yeah, figures.

See that photo of Mumbai?  I nearly laughed out loud!  Apparently, they’re used to living like that—and yeah, I’d never make it there OR I’d have to learn to merge and harmonize.  Just look at the photo; that many people crowded together like that?  They probably learned to shout to one another just to be heard over their neighbor!!  They’re probably doing what is in entirely natural for them and I’m the one who has the problem!!  I’m trying to see me from their point of view.

Could I be better at harmonizing and being more tolerant?  Yeah, I really think I can and should try harder!  Just look at that picture!  I look at the birds outside my window taking turns to come to the birdfeeder… they sit on the branches waiting for some to clear out while others are there.  Somehow they merge and harmonize and …. Well, some do flap their wings at the others, but still.  I think that when the Mouths of Mumbai are home, I should be not home as much as possible.  I should fly away like the birds to the birdfeeder.  I’ve got to get better at harmonizing and merging with humanity; but I will still carry the Plan B to go back to the wilderness.  I sure do miss the quiet and serenity of the mountains.

Merge, harmonize, blend and quit thinking that you are a separate ego Joy!!!  You are only energy in the world like everyone and everything else.  Lose your illusion of separateness and put the ego to bed, for good—merge, dissolve, blend, harmonize.  Let go.  Namaste Mumbi Mouth Lord and Lady, Namaste!

Excuse me now.  I’m going to bed to nurse my cold and restore my health! It is 9:15 AM ; they should be soon leaving for Monster’s Inc.  Please god, don’t tell me that they have the day off today!!  I’m waiting to hear the door close…. waiting, waiting, waiting…..   Oh, thank you jesus…9:20 AM and their door closes…they’ve gone…. AMEN.

Yeah, I’ll admit to being close to going over the edge…. but for now i’m going to grab  my Kleenex and get back into bed!

 

Getting REAL about Valentine’s Day

Always and in all ways we give when it is not Christmas and love when it is not a valentine day, feel reborn when it is not Easter or spring … every day is a good day to give gifts, to express love, to celebrate spring and new beginnings!

Why does society have to designate a particular day for it?

Bottom Line: “The I AM” in us is Giving and Expressing Love and Celebrating Hope Always in all ways! That’s 365, 24-7.

I have one daughter who says she wears black on Valentine ’s Day and a sister who said she heard dialogue on the radio on the way to work about valentine’s day that brought a tear to her eye because what she heard made her feel alone and sad. I heard someone talk about how in some recent church service some members of the congregation were renewing their wedding vows for the Valentine Day and some members cried because they lost their husbands in the war.

And then I reviewed some generalized astrological teachings recently which emphasized that we all carry within us somewhere the wound or trauma that has to do with being alone and not having our needs met, not receiving comfort. Supposedly, according to that particular teacher’s theory, this wound of separation from “god” (or from the heavens if you prefer that terminology or separation from wholeness if that’s better for your eyes and ears) is carried within us all and becomes re-triggered again sometime in our early years. I’m not certain about all that but if there is an unresolved wound of separation that exists within us, it would make sense that Valentine’s Day would cause us to feel the pain of the wound which still needs healing.

I love what Byron Katie posted on Facebook recently. She wrote, “No two people have ever loved each other.” You know, if you think about it, it’s true. Love is within us and we send it out but it comes back to us—actually, where else would anything go that we send out but back to us?

I see people searching for the mythological twin soul or soul mate without realizing that it is they themselves that they are seeking. Or we could say it this way—they are looking outside of their selves to find the love that is within. We are born alone, we will die alone too—that’s what some would say. Only we can make our own passage to and from one destination to the next, why do we spend so much time confused seeking outside what has always been within—LOVE.

May you find IT this Valentine’s Day or any day—we don’t need society to tell us when to realize Love. Or do we? I’ve got to add what comes to my mind next and that is:

You are never alone if you love the person you are alone with.

PS – Valentine’s Day is the day for people who are trying to fix what they think is broken. And it’s for the bank accounts and balance sheets of greeting card companies, florists, boxed candy makers and anybody else that makes and sells Valentine paraphernalia which will all be reduced for sale tomorrow.  If you don’t get a valentine and box of candy today maybe its life’s way of helping you to remember the Source of Love; but if you aren’t counting calories, love chocolate and you simply must, then I suggest that you pick your self up valentine candy tomorrow–that and everything else valentine-ish will be 50% off then.

I thought twice before I hit the publish this post’ button.  Will readers think I’m sour grapes on love relationships?  I thought about it a second and then turned to the I-CHING for guidance.  Just for the record, I’ve experienced two long-lasting relationships in my life.  In one there were a lot of cards, candy and valentines and in the other, nothing of the sort.  So, I’ve had it both ways you could say.

But let’s see what the I-CHING gives us as wisdom for today and regarding my concern about hitting the publish button on my anti-valentine message.  Its Kua 49 called “REVOLUTION”… well, that’s no surprise– and the first thought I had is that the universe has a sense of humor!  Haven’t I just been writing here about revolting against valentine’s day?

The oracle’s wisdom is about being flexible and having non-attachment.  We could also say, releasing expectations for having those can lead to the suffering of disappointment.

I think that the oracle is telling me not to be attached to whether I should publish this or not — and also to be non-attached to what people may or may not think of me personally.  And looking deeper for valentine’s day guidance, I am recalling my relationships of the past as they correlate with valentine days of the past.

One relationship partner was alway bringing the flowers and cards and candy and the other one not but I did not have much of a care either way, no expectations.  Neither gifts or non-gifts  defined the relationships for me.  Was that because I was carrying the confidence of love within myself?  I don’t know that I’d go as far as to say that, but it sounds good, doesn’t it?   Maybe it was just that we had ‘bigger fish to fry’ in those days if you know what I mean–that’s probably more the truth of it.

Should the goal of a relationship be to carry the confidence of love which comes from within one’s own self?

If we’re looking for something good about valentine’s day, maybe we could see it as an okay day to pause, take inventory of our beliefs about relationships and use the insights gained as an opportunity to grow and evolve.

It may help to recall that we live life without any guarantees.  And since life itself doesn’t offer any guarantee’s anyway, why should we expect those from relationship partners?   Those expectations lead to suffering.

Times change, seasons change and our demands change too.  We are with others but always ultimately alone; and everything we seek exists within us.

That is the revolution and the transformation that a consideration of valentine’s day can offer us–if we’re willing to look.

 By the way… the GET REAL planet, SATURN, is currently RETROGRADE (narrowly focused inward and looking back as well) in the sign of LIBRA which is the relationship sign itself, plus it is at the 29th degree of culminating energy.  No wonder there’s all this get real talk about valentine’s day–look at Saturn@!  I rest my case.