Welcome to the conversation with me, myself and I about finding a solution. Yes, alright. I agree (with myself); I’m tired and never happy when it is raining and cold at the same time with snow predictions flying left and right. Money issues are tugging me left and right and up and down from below and above—typical for this time of year when my home rental lease is up (and the rent went up with it) and end of the year income reports and the beloved Black Friday hoopla bites at one’s heels. And if I could leave the planet and come back in January, I’d be fine with it—what to “get” this one and that one when I give all year-long when I see the need and I can (actually I’m generous with my family and usually don’t need much). I totally resent some merchants and christian holiday makers telling me about the deadline. Funny, I don’t feel this pressure for other holidays but x-mas memories are filled with “how are we going to pull it off again this year?” You know, three little children and society really won’t let you get away from it—they insist! It’s x-mas, go along with it. Get’s my rebel rouser up, you know? Not that I don’t enjoy the decorations and lights and bright red bows and poinsettia’s which off-set the bare brown leaves and lack of color generally at this time of year—and the darkness.
Yeah, that too and striving for balance when the days seem so short! Honestly, a segment of time for exercise, meditation, food, housekeeping, work, emailing and there’s not enough hours in the day. Yeah, I Facebook and tweet but it’s my way of letting my family and close friends be in touch and vice versa; it seems like nobody has time to email anymore and I am constantly behind there too. Maybe with the cable being shut off in a day or so (my choice), the perspective will change; we’ll see.
I mean last night I was watching the Sunday evening Amazing Race show on TV (cable gets shut off tomorrow) while working on emails, bills, bank statement and accounting for holiday gifts and lots of loose ends being tied up when I hear coming from the direction of the TV, “Welcome to the Morning Show.” Really?
I crashed for a few hours and then back at it – clients, students and other email inquiries tugging and pulling and then paypal demanding tax ID information. Sometimes the head just swirls, you know? I haven’t blogged in a while again and I’ve got to compose this week’s newsletter which I’ve already done in my mind—it’s a matter of typing it out.
Maybe you are feeling a bit overwhelmed and slightly frustrated even though you are (like me) gallantly, truly and sincerely, from-your-deep-heart completely grateful for your life and your family and your blessings, no matter what denomination/amount or trend they come in. Yet, also like me, right about now, you could use a little wisdom and guidance. Will you be joining me for a cup of hot tea and a toss of the I-CHING? Let’s do; here we go then.
What does the divinatory system available to us have to say to us at this time of mini-frustration and overwhelm? Let’s have a look; if you need this as much as I apparently do right now, keep reading…
Many times, if I am feeling stuck, frustrated or overwhelmed, I recognize it (as I do now) and pull a divination card (tarot), do an I-CHING toss or select an Angel card after a quick shuffle. Any of these give me something to meditate upon—like a mandala or focusing on a prayer of some sort. Lots of times, I will just quiet down, look at the image on the card if it’s a picture and allow the image to trigger something within my heart that wants to speak by way of wisdom or guidance. With the I-CHING, if there’s time, I will read the meaning of the Kua if I do not know it from memory and my intuition will spark on a word, phrase or sentence. I may take that and then sit with it in meditation; I usually like to do this outdoors and am happy to be able to have a room that is designated a meditation room where I can sit when it is cold, snowing, raining or dark outside as it is now. I try to make this area as comforting and warm as I can for myself. There were times in my past where I had only one room and set aside one corner with a small altar for this purpose—an angel statue or a Buddha and other special, sacred (to me) or spiritual (to me) items to help me focus in a different way.
One of the worst things that we all do, and it is something that I’m doing now as I’m typing (and I need to release this NOW) is to feel guilty for how we were feeling previously in the preceding hours or days before we can do this calm-down and re-centering meditation or contemplation. This becomes a vicious cycle of course—we feel bad and then begin to shift and do a guilt trip on ourselves by feeling guilty for feeling bad (meaning feeling overwhelmed or temporarily frustrated or agitated). We might say something like, “Just look at you with all your blessings—how dare you complain when so many people in the world are suffering! YOU should not be feeling this way.” This type of self-berating does absolutely no good and is a trap. The truth is that you have given yourself the opportunity to slow down and regroup and are seeking guidance and wisdom from within—NOT the inner critic!
So the I-CHING Kua we have here is (interestingly enough) Kua 40 called DELIVERANCE or ABATEMENT OF DANGER. (By the way, I looked into the meaning of the word “deliverance” in the dictionary: “action of setting free” in physical or spiritual senses. )The wisdom here is to recognize that the worst is over for the moment mostly because of the wisdom that we had here to take action—to actually STOP and recognize that we needed to consult the oracle. Because we’re doing that right now, the danger of “going off the deep end” has subsided or been averted.
The I-CHING oracle is saying that it is good to reflect on the entire situation but don’t reflect too long—too much contemplation cripples the ability to make a decision. Like I said, feeling guilty has no place in this process, it’s crippling. Further, the oracle says to return to your normal activities as soon as the danger is over. I don’t know about you, but stopping to type and consult the I-CHING has helped me get past the hump enough to be able to return to normal activities. In this case, the normal activity is sleep aligning with my intention to get to bed at a reasonable hour and not be up all night again. Since it’s nearing 1 AM, my inner guide is saying, “Good enough–now post it. Maybe it will help someone else out there and then OFF TO BED!”
Knowing me, I will probably consider the guidance further and then maybe have a follow-up dream about it (no matter if I remember the dream or not, I’ll probably have one) and wake up in the morning feeling much better. Maybe by then the rain will have stopped and the snow they’re predicting will be starting. I’m not going to lament the fact that I hardly got to enjoy the fall before winter showed up! Like a little child, I get whiney when I’m tired. Tomorrow’s another day as my grandmother used to say a lot and I do (after all) like snow. Really I do.
See you next time… the sound of the rain and wind outside will help me sleep (I hope). I love the synchronicity of the rain and thunderstorm image on the Kua 40 card above. Looking at the image what comes to mind is an American Indian (maybe the ‘me’ of a past life in my fantasy) beseeching the Thunder Beings to “beam me up” and you know the rest of the line from Star Trek.
Read my addendum below and you should see my point with that last comment… and by the way…
…currently the transiting NORTH NODE of the Moon (evolving evolutionary intention for each soul) is conjuncting the SUN (purpose) and MERCURY (talk/communicate/discuss/information) ALL in the sign of SAG (belief systems/truth versus lies and freedom/deliverance as well as Nature and natural law) — toss in that MERCURY is RETROGRADE in that sign of SAG and Omg I guess we can see the possibility of what I describe below happening elsewhere; maybe different details but generally the same possible vibe as below. After all, that NN, Mercury retro and Sun in Sag stellium is happening right now for everyone.
ADDENDUM: Posting this paragraph the following day–I noticed that the Moon was in Capricorn yesterday and the day before. Cap is about “getting real” and “work” and applying discipline. The emotional energy was in alignment with wrapping things up and dealing with the practical earth-living stuff. I had a giggle this morning when I pushed aside another obvious connection with that Capricorn energy yesterday. The phone man was here and let me tell you, trying to get phone problems dealt with up here is like pulling teeth sometimes. Toss in that we have a new company that simply cannot seem to get its website straightened out so that I can pay my bill online—well, lots of patience is required. Now, Saturn rules Capricorn and that energy really relates to the religious Patriarchy, “Father” god, and “society-consensus” energy (i.e.Muggles). Long story short, that Capricorn Moon must have stirred the muggle’s emotional heart on the level of the father-god dogma because in our discussion about the phone, the native american burial mound, and my questions to him about snakes (after all, he probably knows–he’s a local-yocal in these here mountains) eventually lead him to bring up the B word (THE BIBLE). And now here we are in my very own kitchen having this conversation! Another meaning of the word DELIVERANCE as it relates to yesterdays oracle, Kua 40 is SALVATION. Synchronicity galore there, right? And this guy who is telling me that this week is FAWN HUNTING around here which topic we get to because he tells me if I go hiking up on the mountain to wear a bright orange vest or I could get SHOT, adding that he doesn’t let his kids go out and play during FAWN HUNTING SEASON which is right NOW. (The danger is that his own children could be shot.) Omg! Well, you know how my head, heart, and solar plexus chakras were spinning if you are a follower of this blog! Anyway, why would the hunting license people ever say it is okay to shoot a baby deer? I mean, WHY? Okay, I could go on writing for days, but client’s want readings and there are a gazillion things to do so… the bottom line, okay? The phone guy in my kitchen ended up saying that no rattle snakes are around here but added that he’s killed several copper heads when he’s been out in the woods; so I say, “were they coming after you, attacking you?” and he says no and I just couldn’t ask any more questions. The other bottom line was he told me that he feels very bad for me since I will be going to HELL because I don’t fully accept the BIBLE as the full, complete and end-of-story and do-not-question-it WORD OF GOD, period. You know how these people are–its like talking to a brick wall. I wanted to laugh when he told me that the god buddha (really?) is buried but jezuz doesn’t have a grave therefore he’s really god and that his baptist-bible father-god “really is an INTOLERANT god” said like it’s a good thing, but really I bit my lip and tried not to roar laughing–why be blatantly rude, you know? The guy was pretty pissed off when he left because I simply would not buy into the fear of hell he was trying to get me to buy. Yeah, Moon was in Capricorn yesterday–it all figures! I still don’t know why they kill baby deer anymore than I can understand why a very nice tree along the public walkway, standing straight and tall and shading the sidewalk along a creek is being chopped at with an axe. Maybe its a boy scout project? Why that tree? Every time I go by, I can see the axe chopping marks are going deeper into the tree’s trunk with a huge V on both sides now and a few more swings and she’s firewood. Truly, I scratched my head thinking of what possible harm the tree could be doing there along side the creek and walkway–it has no obvious signs of death or decay nor is it leaning or posing a threat to anything. A boy scout project is all I can think — overall, a sad thing to teach a boy scout to do IMHO, but maybe its a survival-skill badge or some such thing. Really I wanted to put a big sign on the tree with the three letters and a question mark, “WHY?” I’d put that same sign on every FAWN on the planet too if I could and my imagination goes even further but I’d spare you that since it goes into areas of perversion. So there it is– an example of the Capricorn/Saturn archetype and a little bit of what the MOON in CAPRICORN might trigger within us emotionally charged by a stellium in Sag with the transiting NN, MERC and SUN; and now I have to go burn some sage in my kitchen! Buddha a god, oh please!
(PS — I slept great, don’t remember any dreams, feel much better, it hasn’t snowed yet but I had an invigorating morning task of gathering up the outdoor carpet, lawn chairs and flower pots that blew upside down from the big winds and rains last night. Have a glorious fire going in the fireplace… it’s 30 degrees but cozy in my bear den here. By the way, the lady who brings me firewood does not chop down trees, these are “downed -already-tree-firewood-logs.”.. well, you know what I mean. 🙂 )