Fear can be the guru that helps awaken but will it ever go away? Dealing with fear and The Two Truths

What if it doesn't work out?
What if I don’t have enough?

Last evening after a ‘house-tidy’ and a glance at the bills and monies, that last part tickled and awakened ‘the familiars’ that rest in the stomach pit area; and while they are definitely weakening as I age, they don’t seem to cease entirely.  And maybe they never will.   I’ve learned to live with their now-and-again visits, those familiars!

What do those fear-familiars want?  I think to be acknowledged, recognized for the purpose of deeper realization and awakening.

“Okay”, I say, “but just for a little while and then I’m going out the door for a walk.”

I knew it would work–the walk. That was my intuition, my inner guide making that known.

It was a brisk, windy October night and it could not have been clearer to me that I needed to walk out the door after I dealt with them.

I think it was teacher Ajahn Chah who said that it is okay to get some control of where your mind goes by shouting at yourself.  I’m not into that exactly,  but I get the point he was trying to make about discipline of the mind–in fact I’ve been writing about that in my blog and newsletter lately.

What’s the point of being here in this reality in these (many times) trying circumstances?  And don’t’ forget we have beautiful experiences too which balance them out.   And actually the idea overall or what is recommended by the spiritual teachers is to take neither polarity too seriously, meaning the good or the bad–not getting attached to either one.  Good times, bad times—attach to neither.

Oh, here’s another example.  For instance, we can take love and hate–those polarities too.  We suffer if we attach too greedily to either emotion.  If we attach excessively to family, lovers and friends, when there is death or change (and there inevitably is—remember about impermanence?), this turns to suffering.  So that’s what I mean.  Not saying we shouldn’t love one another but not in extreme ways.

Well, getting back to it now….  the point of or purpose of these fear guru’s in our lives  (and yes, fear can be our teacher)  is to teach us—remind us really because we already know this but forgot—about the impermanence of life and those things that we over-identify with  which aren’t real yet when we think they are.  And that, in a nutshell, causes our suffering.

For me it always brings me back to the two truths of conventional and ultimate reality–with that understanding the mind becomes comfortable and at peace.

We, in our conversations with our fear, realize that we become attached to seeing our life a certain way and then we become attached to that view, you see?  We can explain that to our fears and they say, “Thank you, we simply forgot.”

Circumstances that are difficult help us to awaken; otherwise we would remain in blissful sleep.  Life difficulties help us to work through and work out those issues that keep us from developing virtue.

Yeah, and that reminds me of it.  Of what?  One of my early channeling sessions my communication was spirit involved my question—why are we here?  What’s the purpose?  And the answer I received seemed too simple then and I nearly discarded it but always kept it on a shelf in my mind and over the years with all my spiritual study and life experience (today I have reached my double 6 birthday, so I have a little of that)… anyway, in all that I’ve studied and lived that answer, being here to develop virtue, makes more-and-more sense.  It gets clearer every year—virtue.  Like what?  Well, patience is a virtue and what are some of the rest?

Well, here’s the great Benjamin Franklin’s list of virtues:

  1. TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
  2. SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
  3. ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
  4. RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
  5. FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
  6. INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
  7. SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
  8. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
  9. MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
  10. CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
  11. TRANQUILITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
  12. CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
  13. HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Well that gives you one idea–there are many virtues.

Developing the virtues is basically about being the best human you can be–which isn’t as easy as it sounds.  Anyway..,.

Going back to the topic here, let me add that it helps for me to think in terms of the reasons for what is happening; and so then I think difficulties are there to help awaken us to the ultimate reality, otherwise we may never get it.

So my glance at the bills and money situation ultimately caused a moment of remembering and deeper awakening thanks to the tea with the fear gurus.

And then I bounced down the steps and out the door into the night air, breathing deeply into the wind, shaking my shoulders.  I shook my head too in order to wobble and jiggle away the tears that had been forming behind the throat and eyes.

I walked into the darkness having another conversation…. this time with my inner guide, my wisdom guru.  Although I remained a bit unsteady emotionally for a while, that was further remedied by my guide (after our talk) then suggesting a pop-in surprise visit with my sister and niece.  So I walked to their door and knocked.   We caught up with things and then ordered pizza (which was not that good for my trim and slim goals) yet was totally and completely soul-satisfying.  I must say the Pizza Hut pineapple pizza was excellent and thoroughly enjoyed each bite!  So…
What’s the moral of the story?

I think that the old seeds and old fear habits are always there, but that’s not  “who we are” since essentially there is no self.  And because that is so, those seeds and habits are just life being what life is—the nature of human existence.

Our body and emotional nature contain those habits because we are human, but we don’t have to over-identify with it all.

Why?  Because ultimately there is no self.

But while we are here in human form we still make efforts to be the best human we can be.  How do we do that?  Where and when distress appears we do our best to transcend it.  It is called transcending the world and destroying delusions. 

“No mud, no lotus”—this is a saying that we could translate into “No fear/distress, no awakening”.   You disagree?  You say your life is nothing but total bliss and you’ve reached enlightenment 24-7?  Hmmmm….. give that one a bit more thought because you may be simply asleep.  Just sayen’.

Earth living and it’s downers are what keep us having realizations, keep us awake, help us to learn to breathe in and out in the present moment, releasing attachment, aversions, fears.  One does get to have time-outs, rest periods, of course; but then it seems to come again for us on deeper levels like peeling layers of an onion.

Don’t get too full of ego and mistake the rest and recovery period for enlightenment–through observation it seems to me that the universe loves nothing more than to crush smug ego’s.

Maybe that’s why those ‘familiars’ don’t seem to completely ever go away, they’re always there lurking–to help us stay aware, remain humble, and so that we do not fall into lazy patterns (see above paragraph).

But none of this is who I am… the “I AM” that is beyond, beyond, completely beyond just observes this and smiles.

Further, I don’t need to become attached either way and that’s where the peace is located–in that place of non-attachment.

No aversion, no attraction.

Yes, yes, we have to deal with that which everyone else (and a part of us) agrees is conventionally real, but ultimately none of it exists.  Outwardly we have to agree; after all, when my rent is due (which is the thought that started this blog post!), I cannot go into the rental office to tell the Lords of the Land that ultimately neither they, nor I, nor the apartment itself exists and therefore, I don’t need to pay my rent.  Outwardly I have to agree, but inwardly I know the truth.  That’s the “pickle” (as the saying goes) that many of us light-workers (as they call us) live within.

Fear guru’s help us to remember these things.  My personal fear guru?  Oh, he’s much gentler and kinder than he used to be; but still I don’t like his presence at any time whatsoever!  Yet, the tea and cookie that I give him and little talk we have seems to comfort him (and me too-wink!) so that then we can resume the life-game here with greater ease!

Let the games begin!—that is what I say to myself when I wake up in the morning sometimes, mostly when I’m not so afraid.

FEED YOUR SUN TO ENHANCE YOUR LIFE FORCE AND TO FEEL STRONG, HAPPY, ENERGIZED

FEED YOUR SUN TO ENHANCE YOUR LIFE FORCE AND TO FEEL STRONG, HAPPY, ENERGIZED

Feeding and Energizing Your SUN!
Feeding and Energizing Your SUN!

The Sun Sign is like a key which enables us to turn it to reach a particular channel of consciousness that vitalizes our essence physically, mentally and spiritually.  A weak Sun enables us to fall apart easily, feel physically weak, disoriented and depressed.  We need the Sun, the Light to energize our heart–our spirit here. When our Sun is healthy we feel strong and able to handle the challenges of life.  We should each know what it is that nourishes us and helps us feel our own power—and astrology can help us.  We should know and study the sign of our Sun and that’s the reason for today’s post!

I will list each Sun sign and a line or two about what you need to nourish your body, mind and soul to keep yourself healthy and energized—we should know how to feed our Sun; how to bring more Light into our body, mind and spirit so that we can feel happy here!

The Sun is thought to be Male energy—the animus as Jung called it.  Our Sun is our Life Force (as above, so below)–it’s our Prana and it helps us with our creative expression here.  More basically it is what produces our will to live and so we should know how to nourish it.

Nourishing (feeding) our Sun is what helps us to feel confident and it is different for each of us, based on our birth data. 

Almost everyone knows their Sun sign but if you don’t, I will include the list of signs with dates below.  This list isn’t intended to be all inclusive—this is just off the top of my head so-to-speak mentioning some of the key points that come to mind about each Sun which my own Libra Sun needs to do in order to feel energized an purposeful i.e. “relating”.  Anyway, here we go…

Aries2SUN IN ARIES (born March 21 – April 20)

You need fire and to express courage and a pioneering spirit and be out front or first in anything you do.  Any activity that encourages such things will feed your Sun and help your life force sparkle and shine brighter.  You need excitement and to try new things—as many as you can even if you don’t follow up with everything you start, you need those exciting “new starts” often and in some form in order to feed your Sun and help you feel confident and alive .

Taurus

SUN IN TAURUS (born April 21 – May 20)

You need earth and to express your very practical ideas in any way that you can.  You are good at handling resources and expressing this skill helps you to feed your life force and feel confident.  When you work with money/finances you shine just like you do when you express your strong tastes in creating beauty with earth resources.  When you care for your physical needs and comforts, you energize your body, mind and spirit.

Gemini2

SUN IN GEMINI (born May 21 – June 21)

You need air, mental, thought to energize your sense of dualism—and when you can hold two views at the same time or unite two sets of opposites, this helps you to feel confident and powerful.  When you allow yourself to use your natural born gift of observation and combine that with words in any way—shazam, you are really rocking and feeling your light grow brighter.  Mental stimulation in any way, shape or form energizes you and when you talk about things this too helps body, mind and spirit unite—expressing yourself does it for you and helps you feel vital and alive.

Cancer2

SUN IN CANCER (born June 22 – July 22)

Water, emotions and security are the key words here that feed this Sun and help people in this sign feel strong and vital. Home, family and tradition and things to do with the past help you feel a sense of purpose that enlivens your body, mind and soul.  Building a sense of home and doing that groundwork for that purpose feeds your sun and helps you feel more powerful, confident and alive – you take the past and create a self-image from that making an identity that helps you feel more yourself. When you care for others and protect and nurture them, this feeds your own Sun—your life force.  If you don’t use your deep feelings to care for others, you feel more vulnerable and loose energy; however, if your home or security are threatened this enables you to find your Sun and call upon your own natural inner strength making you aware of it and this ultimately enables you to feel more alive, confident and purposeful.

Leo2

SUN IN LEO (born July 23 – Aug 22, 23)

This person needs fire, passion and awareness of self and feels enlivened when in any kind of central position or at the core of anything that is going on.  If this type of individual is not feeling popular with others, it can dampen the spirit and it’s like put a blanket over their life force.  The person born under this Sun will feel the need to reach the pinnacle of achievement in some area but must also remember to have fun so that work and pleasure are in equal measure—if not, the life force depletes and the Sun is not being fed.  There is a susceptibility to flattery from others until this individual can learn how to nourish their own Sun by self-acceptance and true self-awareness.

Virgo2

SUN IN VIRGO (born August 23, 23 – September 22, 23)

Humility, compassion and modesty and an urge to be of service and make a significant difference in the world in a hands-on and grounded way that is practical and useful; this is what feeds and nourishes the body, mind and spirit of those born under the Virgo Sun.  Other Sun signs can take advantage of the service oriented Virgo nature who likes to work behind the scenes.  Satisfaction comes from giving attention to details and by pursuing a natural interest in healing—those activities feed the Virgo Sun helping this individual feel confident and vital.

Libra2

SUN IN LIBRA (born September 23, 24 – October 22, 23)

The emphasis here is on non-self or the ‘other’ and on anything air related such as writing, speaking and in any way ‘relating’.  When the person born under this sign is uniting with others in some way there comes a feeling of wholeness and balance and harmony.  A person born under this Sun has a consideration of other people’s feelings, such as even if this person is expressing anger it is on behalf of another rather than self.  The Libra soul really has a strong need to justice and fair play and working for the benefit of others is what enables this soul to be energized and feel confident and vital.

Scorpio2

SUN IN SCORPIO (born October 23, 24 – November 22)

The person born under this Sun has an urge to fight an conquer foes whether real or imagined  and the need is to slay a dragon of some type and so here feeling the power of tenacity makes on feel alive and vital.  There’s an innate need for passion and sometimes engaging in activities to the point of obsession but this level of intensity is needed in order to feed body, mind and soul.  If the person can dig deeply for the truth even to the point of doing research in some way to find the deep bottom-line answer, then the life force is energized.  Anything involving psychology and learning about the motivations of others helps the person born under this sign to feel vital, alive and generally purposeful which feeds their life force.

Sagittarius2

SUN IN SAGITTARIUS (born November 23 – December 21, 22, 23)

Expansion of the solar forces to their fullest potential happen with those born under the Sag Sun and there needs to be a wide field or area for this person to express their life force energy.  Here we have individuals who have a huge abundance of tolerance naturally and when this is being expressed, the Sag person feels that sense of purpose being fulfilled.  Honesty, freedom and optimism and cheerfulness need to be allowed expression in order for the person born under this Sun to feel confident and vitally alive.  The naturally restless spirit of the Sag Sun individual is soothed by experiencing some type of adventure and having an expression of freedom in their life in some way.  Teaching helps someone born in Sag to feel vitally alive, purposeful and thus feeds that life force, their Sun.  Travel or planning a trip is also something that a Sagittarius can do in order to feed their Sun!

Capricorn2

SUN IN CAPRICORN (born December 22, 23, 24 – January 20)

The Sun’s rays are usually weaker during these months but inside this individual there is a quiet drive that is powerfully present and needs feeding.  Anything requiring tenacity and determination will feed the body, mind and spirit of this individual.  This person needs a goal and something to master in some field or endeavor and has what it takes to endure hardship and to overcome obstacles and when these hardships and obstacles are overcome, the life force is revitalized.  There is purpose on the path of overcoming life that feeds this person’s body, mind and spirit.  This Capricorn Sun needs responsibility and can thrive on it!

Aquarius2

SUN IN AQUARIUS (born January 21 – February 19)

The person born under this Sun thrives on cooperation with others; and without it their life force fades and wanes.  Personal satisfaction comes from considering others first and in fact self-promotion diminishes one’s feeling of power and confidence.  Sharing with others and humanitarian concerns rule this individuals deepest inner desires and help one feel the life is being well-lived and furthers the feelings of brotherhood and friendship that keep this Sun fed.  Technology is also a place wherein a person born under this sign can shine and feel confident and purposeful; so developing technical skill helps one feel like shining even brighter especially if the technology enhances other people’s welfare.

Pisces2

SUN IN PISCES (born 2/20 – 3/20)

The solar forces are probably the weakest here in those born under this sign.  Yet, in times of adversity, the solar spark ignites and inner strength asserts itself.  Here we can see folks who can be very resistant but in a very passive way but the resistance can be arduous and formidable.  The person born under this sign feels confidence and life force grow when expressing adaptability, tolerance and compassion.  If the person born under a Pisces Sun works on behalf of those less fortunate this generally motivates their life.  So, therefore, charity work and healing work are of benefit in feeding the Sun of those born under Pisces.  The thing here is that the individual is basically very kind but others perceive this as weakness and then take advantage; therefore, boundaries are crucial for those born under this Sun Sign.  If anything in the arts using imagination are pursued (music, dancing, etc.) this can feed the Sun here since those born with a Pisces Sun have a strong imagination.  Grounding, naturally, is something that should be balanced with the imaginative nature.

divider3-15-13

I hope this little list will help you to know how to feed your own Sun and also for you to know a bit about how to help your family and friends enhance their life force as well.

lotus 5-26-13PERSONAL INTENTION AND PRAYER:

May this information reach the right people and the right time in order to make a positive difference in their life and may their life force be energized beyond measure for the good of all.

Difficulties and Tensions Happen to Spiritual People and the Truth about the Number 11! Spiritual Flaccidity, Hunger Games and May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

Hunger Games
Hunger Games

Difficulties and Tensions Happen to Spiritual People and the Truth about the Number 11!  Spiritual Flaccidity and May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

Maybe it’s the Aquarius or Uranus part of me, but I’ve always gone the opposite way of the crowd.  And in this instance I’m talking about the crowd that thinks or believes that if you have a difficulty in life or tension in any way that you’re doing something spiritually wrong!  Natural Law, you know?  Nature as an example:  the flower, in order to grow, requires the resistance of the earth to push against in order to find the light, the Sun.  Of course, how often do we hear of the other example of the lotus pushing up from the mud to symbolize our life on earth—without the mud the lotus couldn’t grow!

Tension!  There’s been a lot of that this year so far but this is (for me) and 11 year after all – numerology.  Anyway, the soul needs the tension, the strain, the stress, the pull within caused by life on Earth for growth and development just as flowers need rocks in their soil against which to push in order to reach the sun.  If we avoid tension at all costs—the way that the spiritually elite white-lighter population does—we become flaccid of spirit!  And live in yet another delusional state!

We seem to learn and to grow though tension:  maybe that’s what an 11 personal year is all about.  Does the tension and stress of earth living keep the spirit from going flaccid or getting fat and flabby?  Don’t we have to keep in shape (even spiritually)?  And so don’t we need challenges or some sort of oppositional energy (Ha! Thinking in astrological language now) in order to draw us out of our otherwise sleepy white-light delusional haze?  I’m just asking, contemplating—that’s an 11 year thing.  The word “tension”, interestingly enough, is used in describing the vibration of the number 11; Google it, you’ll see.  Other “T” words associated with the 11 vibration are these:  trials and tests.  Surprised?  If so then you might be a white-lighter in need of some 11 “T” vibe reality.

I mentioned at the start of this post the Uranus/Aquarius aspect of psyche and guess what the number 11 is associated with in astrological terms?  Yeah, Uranus/Aquarius is the answer.  And in soul astrology when we look in a chart to find where the soul has experienced trauma or wounding, we usually have our eye scanning for the location of Uranus and what where Aquarius is located.  Anyway…

Any trauma or crisis creates divine possibility and probability for spiritual growth—right?  We can’t have a flaccid soul or spirit now, can we?

Like I was saying, we need that tension in order to grow—or so the theory goes.  Tension is the key to growth; we learn through tension and we exist through tension here on Earth.  Tension creates that oppositional energy that pulls our lotus-flower-self right up out of the mud!  Light does that, sun does that and who says that the light or the sun (the 11 energy) doesn’t come right along with exactly what we need to grow, including crisis and all those T words mentioned earlier?  I’m just sayen’—just contemplating the idea of the necessity of opposition, of the right amount of necessary tension to shape our souls, our hearts, our minds, and our spiritual journey here.

Take the Yin-Yang; within the light there is darkness and vice versa.  And as the white-light crowd goes one way seeking spiritual flaccidity and I go the other contemplating the necessity for oppositional tension, life goes on as it will despite our theories.  Are our experiences in life on Earth all about haphazard odds? Or is there a divine force of intelligence guiding those odds?  As they say in the book and movie The Hunger Games, “May the odds be ever in your favor!”

Meanwhile, if any of those T words are part of your experience (tensions, trials, tests, and trauma), don’t immediately jump to the conclusions that those white-lighter’s push about creating your reality and positive thinking and all the rest of that.  You don’t need a crash course in the Law of Attraction (gimmie’ a break!) and you don’t need to escape into the white-lighter nihilistic delusion either.  Simply realize the true 11:11 vibrational message:  there needs to be balance, yin/yang and avoid the flaccid spiritual extremes.

White and black are the colors of the numbers of 11 which is reminiscent of the yin/yang symbol—two sets of opposites, the world of duality—light in the darkness and darkness in the light.

The number 11 represents challenges; do people know this?

Here’s something I found online [http://www.professionalnumerology.com/chaldeansystem.html] about the number 11:  This is an ominous number to occultists. It gives warning of hidden dangers, trial, and treachery from others. It has a symbol of a “Clenched Hand”, and “a Lion Muzzled”, and of a person who will have great difficulties to contend against.   [Based on Chaldean numerology]

My greater point is that great difficulties happen even though we wish that “the odds be ever in your [our own]  favor” …  despite that, sometimes struggle, strain and striving happens and like the flower pushing against the rock and soil or mud, that’s how we grow.  Don’t let those white-lighters make you feel bad – it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong! It’s only life on earth; it’s soul growth and maybe it’s the odds!  😉

divider3-15-13

I just remembered a few things.  First, I’ve not been blogging regularly and with this recollection, I (once again) vow to be more consistent.  Secondly, what ever happened to the 37 Verses of the Bodhisattva that I said that I was going to start doing?  Opps, see all of the above; it’s an 11 year!  However, with the above in mind, I did draw a verse number out of the basket here to add to rectify my delinquency.  I drew vow #23 which has to do with attachment and impermanence.  It talks about not holding on to anything — yin or yang, light or dark and those rainbows in life and not being attached to anything.  What do you think about how this verse applies to what I’ve written in this post?  Here it is:

When you encounter attractive objects,

Though they seem beautiful

Like a rainbow in summer, do not regard them as real,

And give up attachment.