Life – Is it one unchanging moment of happiness?

Unchanging HappinessIs it possible that any moment in our life would be one that we would wish to have unchanging, remaining the same for eternity?  We do this with life maybe subconsciously but we seem to continually be leaning forward to try to achieve that unchanging and happy moment.  Here are some thoughts about that from my view.  My life does not seem to be one unchanging moment of happiness.  That’s likely true for you too, right?   No matter how we try consciously (or subconsciously) to achieve a continually unending moment of bliss, we know it’s not possible.  Yet we still try for it.

What to do then?  We can pull back from striving to reach for that unending happy moment and instead make peace with this here moment no matter how it appears for us.  How?  By believing that this moment is more than enough.  Its not that difficult really.  We can do it by developing stability and the state of wellbeing with intentionality. ( Fake it until you make it using the tool of meditation. ) This then is the gateway to freedom from the suffering that consumes us due to yearning for some other moment (s).

It is to our great benefit to have the kind of confidence in our overall life that any moment has, contained within it, the seed of freedom from the suffering that yearning creates – said another way, enlightenment comes from making peace with the human condition. 

When we don’t argue with the way things ‘are’ and when we don’t make life wrong by believing like . . . “it shouldn’t be this way” . . .  and when we can make peace with life in such a way that we do not become tired of life or weary of the trials that are natural to this dimensional reality.

Let’s face it.  Life does turn sour on occasion or as I have heard it recently referred, “. . . when life turns rancid.”   But what I am referring to here is that to make peace with life and its many ups, downs, and experiences keeps us out of that kind of yearning that causes our unhappiness.

Psychologists tell us that even if we intellectually admit that difficulties in life happen and we concede that trauma does occur in life,  when we bump up against such energy there’s a part of the mind that is incredulous–its doubtful about it’s happening.  And in that type of unacceptance, we suffer even more.  In Buddhist thought, this is referred to as ‘the second arrow’ if you are familiar.  Double suffering is another way to say that.  There’s a part of the mind that cannot conceive that suffering can occur in our life! And want’s to deny that it shouldn’t be the way it is.

We set ourselves up when we try to reach out to find that which we believe will complete or fulfill our hearts.

The fact that we think our heart is lacking that which something outside ourselves can provide is the first step in the confusion about all this.

Whatever we reach out for in order to bring the heart to its fulfillment it (or to complete it) will eventually disappoint us.  Clinging or grasping for what we think we don’t already have can never work in the end.

Imperfection, disappointment, anger, even hatred energies exist in this realm and are woven into the fact of being human.  It’s just how things are on earth.  Yet, remember, as you just read that last sentence, there was likely that part of your mind that disbelieves it.  Or believes those energies bump into others but not myself. 

Stress occurs by not making peace with that way things are and resisting or arguing with it all.  I often quote this phrase, “Whenever you argue with life, you lose.”  Meaning you suffer.

My final thought:  All difficulties or suffering bring opportunities for growth and insight.  When we understand life in the ways I’ve written about here, we develop wisdom.  Then the mind feels strength, energy, freedom, detachment and becomes devoid of craving and the sources or causes of suffering. 

Humor helps in dealing with stresses

airplane taxiHumor helps in dealing with stresses

Funny how certain things in life we simply don’t seem to hear, isn’t it?  I used to live on a fairly busy highway.  Even though people suggested to me before I moved-in that the sound of the traffic would be noisy or busy or a bother, I didn’t care.  I liked the house and actually enjoyed the moving traffic passing by.   Yet, if I hear a chain saw or anything that sounds like it or a human voice–it’s a totally different story.  It just is.  I’d rather hear a pack of dogs bark all night long that this loud Indian couple bantering and fussing for hours on end!  No really—they talk and talk and talk and then talk some more, non-stop hour after hour and on and on.  How about reading a book or SOMETHING? Anything!  (My current working theory is that it was a forced marriage and they are still hashing out whose fault it is–its just that the mind really wonders what they could go on about for so long and with such ….. well, lets leave it at that.)

I’m employing all types of tools and methods to deal with the stresses of certain sounds and noises these days.  Take for instance the other night.  Humor works and sometimes I can “crack myself up” as the saying goes!

The downstairs neighbors (a loud mouthed couple from India–pardon how I said that but it’s true) were getting louder as I was about to get into bed.  Great!  Here we go again!  My tried-and-true method to muffle into silence their Mumbai-mumbling-mouths involves turning up the fan on the central air unit, then putting the floor fan on high, AND the air purifier too for the benefit of THAT white noise as well.  All that, as sometimes happens, didn’t do it! I could still hear their very loud voices.   The task of drowning out the sound of their mouths completely was going to require the calling forth of the duty of the dishwasher!

Once it’s all going at the same time, the place is really rocking with white noise.   In fact, so much so that my apartment sounds like a jet engine!  Rolling off on that thought, as I kicked off my slippers, turned back the covers on my bed, switched off the light announcing, “Ladies and gentleman this is your captain speaking, welcome to cosmic airlines, we’ve been cleared for take off,  please fasten your seat belts, and enjoy your flight…”  I felt asleep laughing.  Humor helps dealing with stress.

(So does the fact that their VISA will run out soon and they will have to go back to India!  Hasta la vista baby!  Can’t happen too soon for me!  Meanwhile… humor!)  I know it’s NASCAR country here too and that Jimmy Johnson just won the Daytona 500, but I’ve developed a huge dis-taste for Lowe’s (employer of the Indians in this town).  I am personally boycotting Lowe’s as a way to make myself feel better about the noise, not that I really ever shopped there anyway…but still.  Opps… suddenly seem to have lost my sense of humor again! LOL  Change!  Grrrrrrrrr!!  Or as my Buddhist friend has said, “Om Dammit OM!”  (This blog is another tool in dealing with my stress as well.  And yeah, yeah, I know it’s all illusion or mental projection or just life as it is in the big city.  Still, I also know that a girl’s gotta’ do what a girl’s gotta’ do!)

PS — if some big exec at Lowe’s Headquarters reads my blog   and wants to buy me out of my lease, you can contact me through my website. What are the chances?  ha ha

Fear, Change, Committment and a New Life in 60-Days

CHANGE

Hello beautiful people!  O, take it first hand from me (as if you didn’t know from your OWN experiences anyway) but fear wreaks havoc (potentially) if we don’t nip it in the bud.  I’ve just made a commitment that has taken courage—and because of this,  I may not be blogging… wait.   How about this?  I could bring you along with me on this adventure via this blog (time permitting).

On this journey I am  going to ‘test my mettle’,  as well as my determination, courage and tenacity!  What do you say?  If I had the time I’d create a separate blog for that but this one will have to do.

This is just the beginning of what is going to be a very interesting journey over the next 60 days.  Hang on to your hat—that’s what I’m telling myself.  I’m about to head into territory.  From the Higher Self:  This experience  is likely to hit or trigger this soul’s past issues/wounds–yet also provides the opportunity to heal those!   This should get interesting and we will have to help this soul and this personality remain awake and fully conscious through this process!

This is Day #1 more-or-less officially (but there’s no signing on the dotted line yet exactly) but, like I said more-or-less since I just got the green flag to go ahead with my commitment for change and to experience a new life in 60 days. 

There is a particular area of my life that must remain strong if I am to succeed.  Yet I just had a moment of paranoia when I thought that area has become weak.  It involved looking at something and thinking, “How in the world could this be?” and then the mind started envisioning everything in my life going south.  Well, you know what I mean–the old fear monster reared its head and said, “See this weakened area and how it shows that you are going to fail? Just look at how vulnerable you are; you’ll never pull this off.”

Ha!  Wrong; it was a mistake, a simple error and did not indicate any vulnerability or weakness in any area whatsoever.  Mind you, this was just a half-hour in the making today, on day one of this venture, this commitment, this change in my life.  And during that half hour (after the initial shock hit like a strong wave and dissipated as quickly as it hit), what I did was consciously let go; I surrendered.

Yeah, it was still hanging out in the back of my mind but I shrunk that fear monster down to 5% of its original huge size by not giving it my energy or any credibility.

Me of all people knows how this kind of thing can snowball—first one fear and if it doesn’t get nipped in the bud right then, it starts calling in it’s family members and friends, doubt, uncertainly, anxiety and all of the others from on Main Street in Stress-ville and before you know it, we’re all sunk.

I just received information that my fear was actually erroneous – ahhh, like almost all fear is.  I thought so but got a validating email to that effect and so now we’re back on track again.  F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal — yeah, I know; you’ve heard that a thousand times if you’ve heard it once (but not everybody has).

I look forward to this challenge and to being very busy with clients, students and also in this area of commitment in my life which is only temporary but which in the end will bring positive change.  I’ll blog post again as we go along on this journey sharing my challenges and successes, planning to have more success than the other.

This has to potential to be emotional as change can be, but I am ready.  As I heard it said while watching a re-run episode of Grey’s Anatomy, and I paraphrase, “When what needs to be changed becomes more difficult to deal with than the fear of the change—it happens.”   And it’s about to.  So much for Day 1.  We’ve only 59 more days to go and lots to do!  My tarot card have been right so far on this–and my higher self has guided me right here at the brink of this change.  It seems so sudden but then change always does, doesn’ t it?

Oh, and I am pretty sure we have the green light go ahead… it should be official by tomorrow, more or less.  I’ll post again when that last small stop is pulled out; but it’s looking like a done deal.  I just have to take my own courageous steps and make my determined efforts now.  (It was that darned May Super Full  Moon in Scorpio that started this off!  I’ll be grateful at the END of the 60-Days, but one step, one day at a time.  LOL)

PS — Terence (the toad) and Sam (the salamander) didn’t make it. ( See last post. )

By the way, this week’s newsletter relates to this unfolding 60-Day thing  in many ways–the part about watching myself do things.

I’m going to make this a fun adventure (to the best of my ability) and laugh my way through it — as much as possible.  That’s my intent — we’ll see how I do.