Guilt, Withdrawal, The Hermit, The Leopard and the 12th House with Moon and Pluto

The HermitIts probably a good day to stay home and write.  The Moon is transiting my 12th house and sitting atop of my natal Pluto with Mars nearby.  Could get intense in the outer world today–best to keep that intensity within the 4-walls here.  Or so says the intuition.  The 12th house is about seclusion and withdrawal — or at least that’s one of the archetypes.  Or that’s one astrologically accepted classic model of the House 12 pattern anyway–withdrawal.

I think that its good for the soul:  withdrawal, going within, terminating connections with the outer world.

Sometimes we withdraw from life or from certain situations for self-protection but what do we really want to protect ourselves from?  The same thing that motivates all of us–we either seek pleasure or avoid pain.

Let’s face it. We don’t have to be martyrs in life.  I don’t think it’s wrong to disengage from persons, places or things that are unpleasant if we have a choice.  Sometimes we don’t but with the blessing of the universe, sometimes we do.  Why not exercise the choice and not feel guilty about it?

That’s how my 12th house Moon conjunct Pluto feels about it today.  I think that choice is a gift, why not use it and do so so without guilt?

I don’t know about you but sometimes my feelings of guilt, when present, seem to come from worries about what other people will think about me–people that I care about or who are important to me.  Sometimes we see ourselves through other people’s eyes and that triggers those old patterns of guilt that we’ve probably carried over a number of lifetimes.

Guilt serves no purpose and is un-necessary self-criticism.  Its like allowing those voices of the old Catholic nuns or critical parents or other authority figures to take over our psyche.

It serves one thing that is purposeful however; it let’s us know that we are still working on resolving something within our own relationship to our self.    We always think these things are about us versus them.  We think it’s about our connection to the ‘other person’ or ‘the job’, etc.  When really its about our own relationship to our own self.

In other words, in my own case, honoring my own tendencies and feelings without concern of being misunderstood or judged as being uncaring or cruel.  So in that way we can see that the concern really is self-judgment.

Give self permission to embrace one’s own natural tendencies which are there for a reason and there as much for other people’s benefit as well as our own.  And honor that.

One thing we learn when we withdraw is how to experience our feelings fully and to release them in full too because we are giving ourselves the space by withdrawing in order to do so.

To carry guilt is to sabotage ourselves.  Withdrawal gives us the space to know ourselves, and to understand our feelings and to release them.

One way to resolve any guilt is to rebuild faith in one’s self and withdrawal creates the space for faith and self-trust to become strengthened.

I always relate the TAROT card of THE HERMIT to 12th house withdrawal energy.  I think of an “old soul” (if you will) and someone more comfortable alone than with others and not because of a lack of social skills or anything of the sort.  Just someone who values alone time higher than surface or shallow time with others.

Leopard walking towardThe Hermit card relates to the 12th house in another way –or so I think.  I liken this energy to someone who has created their own religion or their own rules to live by following the inner guidance or personal conscience.  Here is someone with personal dogma and may be seen as eccentric because this is quite different than the consensus rules of society and is seeking spiritual happiness in ways that the consensus cannot understand or does not follow.

Sometimes I feel a lot like THE HERMIT and its animal counterpart THE LEOPARD. Today that feels more intense than usual — it’s one of those times.

But then again, the Moon is setting off my 12th house now highly activating Pluto so I accept that as normal for today.  Once a month my inner Hermit and Leopard get kicked up to higher levels as the Moon passes through this area of my psyche.

Thus, I stay home and even write about it!  😉 wink!

Fantastic Listening Walking Meditation and THE HERMIT

In my last blog post there were references to times when we can make a problem where none exists.  A few days later, I heard a Tibetan Lama give a dharma teaching about the need to give the ego mind a job—a part time job—something to do. Otherwise, since the ego-mind needs to stay employed, it gives itself a job.  It creates a problem to solve where there ‘is’ no problem in the first place.

I could really relate to that simple teaching.  This is sometimes why I like listening to the Tibetan monks—they speak broken English many times but that sort of forces them to slow down and speak in very easy to understand simply ways that are really quite profoundly beautiful actually.

Chanting, of course, is giving the mind a job, but this particular monk spoke about using sound.

I wanted to share a really cool meditation that I did with that suggestion while walking, but first I wanted to write a little bit more about how the ego mind will create problems where none exist.  It can also be what is called unnecessary worry and it follows patterns many times.  I recently watched documentary movie “What the Bleep do we Know” again.  I no longer have cable TV, so I had that movie on my Netflix list.  Of course, I saw it back when it first came out which I believe was 2003 or 2004, somewhere along there.  But watching it again on the heels of the recent dharma teaching and last week’s blog about making a problem where none exist really added that piece about neuron and patterns.

These recent messages from the universe from my experience, the movie and the dharma teaching are all fitting together very well for me and it’s been really synchronistic and personally helpful.

Here’s an example of how that kind of thing about the mind making problems where there are none based on old patterned thinking or wounds can out-picture—another example involving someone else.  A person wants an appointment and instead of just asking for a day and time that works for their schedule and nailing down the day and time, they write 4 or 5 emails sheepishly asking about scheduling a session.  They receive a reply to each question and then end up not making an appointment because of some perception that they have that they are being in some way mistreated.  And all of that is in their imagination and coming from an old way of responding based on a wound possibly but it is at the very least making a problem where there is none.   The person they accuse of mistreating them is mystified and astounded because each question was answered directly without any type of mistreatment whatsoever.

The ego-mind needs more to focus upon; otherwise, it gets itself into trouble by finding a problem where none exists.  All the neurons from past wounds start to fire and the person ends up seeing what is not there actually.

Well, I really wanted to write a few lines about this walk that I took yesterday.  It was a beautiful, sunny spring day.  Instead of plugging my mp3 player’s earbuds into my ear, I chose to walk without music or without an astrology lesson blasting in my ear either.

After I got started, I thought to try the sound meditation that I heard in the dharma talk by the monk who said to give the ego-mind a part-time job to listen to sounds!

Okay, I thought, let’s give it a try.  I already knew that my mind would likely wander but with practice over the years, it wanders less than when I first started to officially meditate back in the 80’s.

I loved the way the monk said that each time the mind wanders it is like a drip of water falling into a bucket when you catch it and bring it back –in this case, bringing it back to the object of focus which I decided was going to be sound.  He said you may end up with a full or overflowing bucket or barrel for as many drips as times that you have to bring your mind back.  The idea is not to fight with it or beat your self up about it.

Now, this is not the first time I’ve written about meditation in my blog or newsletters!  If I’ve written about that last paragraph once, I’ve written it hundreds of times… many times associating the object of focus as the breath or an object held in the mind such as the image of a flower or even an object in the meditation room, such as a candle flame or a statue.

But this meditation with sound while walking was a little bit different and very enjoyable yesterday.  I thought if I write about it that others may like to try it too.

There were many sounds in the area where I was walking and my mind was very busy with its part-time job chasing after one sound and then next and no other thought or distraction interfered so that I could relax and be fully present.

There was the sound of someone’s lawn mower off in the distance, bird’s chirping close by, the sound of lug nuts going on and off tires from the garage across the way, children’s voices off  in the distance, a loud muffler from a truck driving by, the sound of the creek rushing over the big rocks… all kinds of sounds!  It was like I was everywhere at once yet also very focused and present at the same time.

Once in a while, I realized my mind began to create a story or have a memory and I called it back to the sounds and realized that there goes another drip in the bucket and smiled about it.

I thought it was a great walking meditation in which I was very aware of awareness.  It was quite like I’d imagine the mind of god to be if the mind of god was there listening to the sounds too.

I just pulled a tarot card remembering how I recently mentioned that I am returning the tarot in my blog writing.  I asked what message from higher mind may come from this topic of walking sound meditation.  I smile now seeing that I’ve drawn the card of THE HERMIT.

On this particular card [image above], we see an older man and younger man—the same person who is older and younger.  The older man IS the younger man who knows himself.

The Hermit is the higher consciousness that waits at the peak of our own spirituality.

It is about making contact with the original staff of life which illuminates our inner purpose and earthly goals.

Intuitively, what I am getting the message of THE HERMIT to be (in answer to the question for guidance about my walking sound meditation) is that the inner and outer world is one and the same.  I was experiencing the sounds of the outer world within me during my walk and being in attunement or at-one with life.

I also think that just being fully present (as I was during most of my walk) is being in communication with that cosmic mind or non-local consciousness and that we are receiving energy and information that maybe our lower mind doesn’t realize.  It is busy doing its part-time job that we gave it, listening for and to the sounds.

Being fully present actually is communing with Life which is the communication with The Divine.  You know you’ve done it because you feel more peaceful and happier than before when it’s happening!

Daily Divination 8-26-11 Doing the Work of Soul Evolution – I CHING Kua 18 with Astrology and Tarot Correlations

IMHO a mistake or error that some “new age” spiritual thought systems or philosophical systems make has to do with denying emotion.  Attempts to “white light” and escape from areas of the psyche (soul) or consciousness without going ‘into’ deep feelings or old wounds to determine their core prevents evolutionary growth by skipping over or omitting examination of one’s role in emotional dynamics.  Many wish to wave their wand of light and “not go there”, preferring to escape or avoid the necessary work that supports growth and evolution.  Take, for example, a situation of a tumultuous or difficult relationship—perhaps even one in which some type of abuse took place.  Without going deeply into the dynamics of that relationship at some point, one avoids seeing how one may have contributed to the problem or the difficult dynamic. Essentially, we escape into the Light when we drop our body and cross to the other side; yet, we realize that we did not really “get it” and then come back again to go back into it so that we can see what needs to be healed, repaired or cleaned up or repaired within our own self.  When we say things like “let me stay in the light and not deal with dark feelings”, many times we defeat the purpose of being here—growth and evolution.  We have to “go there” in order to be able to recognize our own patterns and to repair them.

Today’s cosmic communiqué is inspired by Kua 18 of the I CHING called “Correcting Deficiencies” or “Work That Has Been Spoiled”.

We must first understand the cause of our suffering before we can do away with them and without going deeply into that area and examining it, we cannot ever know.  Without knowing and understanding, release cannot happen.  Negative emotions are not to be feared – they are to be understood and traced back to their source so that they can be corrected, re-worked, understood, repaired, restored, cleared up, so that we are in future able to respond differently, living a life in which old wounds are healed and balanced.

Old beliefs that we hold about victimization or neediness and the like have an opportunity to come to light and be corrected and that is why we’re here but we cannot make those corrections if we are unwilling to look/examine or if we are focused on spaceship brothers/sisters coming to “save us” or some sort of ascension scenario whisking us off to some heaven in the sky. No matter where we go in the cosmos, we take the same consciousness; there’s no real escape without the clean-up and correction work.

Behavior patterns that come from patterns of thinking that do not benefit us create problems lifetime after lifetime until we have enough courage and determination to feel and recognize the pain or negative emotion, go into it and make the necessary adjustment or correction.  The deep soul-searching and psychological uncovering reveals what requires attention so that we can live in The Light; yet, so many run away from this work.

As Ma Deva Padma says, “If you put your dinner leftovers in the fridge where you don’t see them for days on end, eventually they start to grow moldy and stink.  The same thing happens with mistakes and difficulties that we refuse to deal with.  We can pretend we don’t know about them, or disguise them with fragrance.”  But all our mistakes and difficulties are learning experiences and while it is easier to assume we are victim rather than examining our role, we avoid facing reality and only delay the moment of truth in which we must become honest with ourselves.

Looking within the self without denial or embellishment to see what part we have played is of utmost importance; otherwise, nothing changes and patterns repeat.

BOTTOM LINE:  Past problems and issues should be examined so that future progress is not hindered.  Don’t deny emotions; allow them and trace them back to their source and make necessary corrections to erroneous or victimization-type thinking

ASTROLOGICAL AND TAROT ARCHETYPE KEYWORD ASSOCIATIONS:

SCORPIO:  allow yourself to go deeply into your psyche and examine your emotions (water; Scorpio is a water sign; water is associated with emotion)

SAGITTARIUS:  ruled by Jupiter, the planet associated with expansive views and the BIG PICTURE; truth—to thine own self be true

LEO:  lack of ability for self-reflection; a need to create the ability to self-reflect; being “child-like” or emotionally immature; the drama-queen of the zodiac; desire to Play ‘god’

VIRGO:  victim; victimization; lack of using discernment; desire to escape into the Pisces polarity

HEIROPHANT/HIGH PRIEST:  going within; turning inward; inner teacher; learning from Life; need for clarity of thought; that which stimulates an inner awakening

TEMPERANCE:  healing after a death experience; being aware of what needs healing

HIGH PRIESTESS:  going deep into the psyche; being in a state of silent equilibrium; looking to the unconscious/subconscious mind for answers; tapping into deep parts of the mind to understand one’s life; looking for the “why” behind all events/feelings/emotions/thoughts/circumstances; paying attention to moods and cycles and learning from them

MAGICIAN:  transmutation of energy; turning the “lead” of negative emotions into the”gold” of love through transmutation that comes from self-understanding

HERMIT:  going within; need to withdraw and examine one’s heart and mind; inner seeking; solitude; the opposite of trying to escape; facing one’s inner self; NOT looking outside one’s own psyche for answers

STRENGTH:  the ability to overcome one’s own resistance and blockages; controlling emotions rather than allowing them to control her; breaking through one’s own personal blockages; releasing tendency to control others