Separating Self from Race Consciousness, a Meditation on Happiness

guitar in water imageI hope the guy downstairs doesn’t read my blog–chances are he doesn’t.  He sings you see.  And apparently he loves it because he does it often with his guitar accompaniment.  I love swimming and do that regularly too.  We both have a passion.  I don’t swim very well if I compare myself to many of the other swimmers–especially the triathlete types but I can’t not swim anymore than the guy downstairs can ‘not’ sing and play his guitar.

When you enjoy doing something, you simply must do it or unhappiness sets in.  I’m happy after my swim and I’d bet if we asked the guy downstairs that he’d say he’s happy when he sings and even when he isn’t singing, the song sustains him like my swim sustains me in between workouts.

Sometimes you do things simply for the joy of it and you don’t necessarily want to make a career of it.  Sometimes you ‘do’ make a career of it–some do, some don’t.  Everybody’s motivation is different.

I’m not trying to enter a triathlon and if you saw me in my bathing suit you’d see how far from that I was  anyway; it’s not my goal.  My goal for swimming is different than the guy in the next lane over–it’s an exercise in mindfulness for one thing.  Oh, there are other reasons why I swim too—I really love the water.

It separates me from race consciousness–from society, from the 3rd dimensional world.  Why? Its a present moment, time-altering thing.  Its my own path, my own inner truth.

Swim your swim, sing your song—

“Sing, sing your song and don’t worry if it’s not good enough for anyone else to hear, just sing.  Sing your song!”  Or swim your swim!  Got to go now, the pool is calling to me and I’m missing the water!

The Psychic ‘Business’ and Mental Breaks

Mental Break

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the good use of time.  Maybe that’s because I’ve been busier than usual since I offered half-priced readings to celebrate my impossible neighbors having moved!  Yay!  Still celebrating actually—can’t help it!  Probably another reason time’s on my mind is that I’m on hold with my telephone company!

Anyway—time!  I’m think about THAT and my astrology course that I want to get on my new website that needs so much work but here I am blogging.  Yeah well, blogging doesn’t take as much total focus and concentration—after all, I’m listening to that music in my ear while waiting for the phone employee to come back to the line.

I jumped on Facebook today when I needed a diversion and thought how I tend to do that when my mind needs a break.  Then thinking about astrology, it occurred to me that I took breaks lasting months and years between learning astrology which I expected to be easier than it was.  A long-ago psychic once told me I’d be a natural at it should I ever take it up; I did and as far as I was concerned, I wasn’t!

Of course, I just needed breaks—it was intense.  And it still is really but one needs to be able to process all the patterns one sees in the chart.  But we were talking about time and taking rest breaks for the mind, weren’t we?  Getting back to that, I used to scold myself for mental diversions away from intense work projects—but not anymore.

Pause.  Do something else.  Come back later to tie up the loose ends.  I did that so much when I was first learning to interpret a whole chart.  I could only handle so much at one time.  I’d put the chart down and pick it up later and in doing so would see the next connection, the next piece to the puzzle, the next sequence in the soul’s story.

And I don’t do it in any logical step-by-step order.  Right now I hope my astrology teacher isn’t reading this because I’d get scolded for not following the formula step-by-step.  It’s just that one planet or one group or aspect just calls out to me, “Look at me!  Pay attention to this!  Start here! “—I can’t help it.  I get back to the textbook formula eventually; but then I’ve always been a bit of a rebel and found my own way through the mazes of life.

When things get intense, it’s good to have an escape planned—I do most things that way finding it helps alleviate my own inner pressure.  And I pay attention to the inner signals, the feelings—sometimes mild and sometimes strong—in any moment and allow myself to be led.  I like working that way.  Besides, I like to tell myself and to believe that I work for “spirit” and that this essence that lives within me guides me.  And well, heck, sometimes it just seems to take over but I let it—and that feels like just watching yourself do something and then afterwards thinking, “Wow, did I really DO THAT?”

I had to laugh aloud recently when somebody referenced what I do as my “business” since I hardly ever think of what I do as “business”—rather it seems I’m a sovereign-ly singularly recruited and willing participant in a co-creator-ship type of engagement with the universe.  Well, that was one confusing sentence.  Maybe something like it’s a co-merged spiritual co-op of some kind and through participation with and in union with such Life-Force somehow magically my earthly needs are met—sometimes just in a nick of time, but nonetheless provided.  Does that sound like a business?  Maybe to someone else it does, but not to me.  Or at least I don’t think of it that way and I don’t make business decisions either—I just follow my feelings and inner most drives.  If what I do ‘is’ a business, it’s not mine—I can say that much!  Ha! Well…

[pause]

…finally I’m off of ‘hold’ to the phone company and I just found out there’s no long distance plan for calling Canada—it’s ‘way-too-much’ per minute; however, in just asking about it they reduced my bill by $10 per month for other reasons.  Some new package or other—maybe the universe just gave me a little cash bonus (worth $120 per yr.)—that’s how I’d like to think of it anyway.

My mental break is now over—the phone company and I are finished on the phone—so, back to work with fresh new eyes!  I’m grateful for my work and for the magical support that I feel is given in the timing that always seems to impress upon me that what I do is a divine co-op (for lack of a better definition a the moment.)

Time and timing is really magical if we really notice and are aware, don’t you think?

Being in touch with the needs of the moment! The Time Tamer of Life!

Every day is a NEW BEGINNING This blog post will be short… I’ve more astrology charts to make notes on and besides, Grey’s Anatomy season premier starts in less than 2 hours!  So I will have to drop what I’m doing and bolt to my sister’s apartment which is quite simply around the corner—a mere two second jog on foot!

(She has cable, and I refused the temptation to look at those talking heads on CNN, etc.  And I’m so happy I made that choice, except for Greys; I just watch it on HULU the next day usually. My sister invited everyone over; she has a big screen TV too — man O man they all look different on her TV!)

I’m still getting used to being busy and integrating infringes on my personal time through assisting my family … O and have I mentioned my daughter is engaged and her engagement party is this weekend?

I’m not a social animal in those ways and having to shake the dust of my hermit-self and the hermit doesn’t like it very much.  To the point—there is objective time and SUBJECTIVE time.  I’ve got to do better with the latter of the two but I’m realizing how much resistance I have and how stubborn too.

A work in progress and it’s all inside where I am making peace with it by really bringing it down to what it took pages to get to in my last blog.  And that is simply living this affirmation:  “I am in touch with the needs of this moment.”  And that, in itself, helps me to be in touch with the “me” within so that I can center and be at peace no matter what schedule I’m trying to juggle.

Now if I can do that while meeting all of the groom’s family this weekend (nothing I resist doing more than making small talk with people I’ve never met—not that I’m not good at it because I am and that’s not false pride—it’s just something I thought well… “it is what it is” as they say but my old hermit wants nothing to do with any of  it or any new relationships either for that matter! The inner child goes, “Awwhh, do we HAVE TO go???”  and now suddenly I’m hoping the future groom’s family doesn’t read my blog… haha  I’m sure that they don’t.

Gate’, gate’ paragate’ …parasamgate, bodhi, svaha!  

Besides, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with the needs of this moment, I am in touch with….

Yeah, okay, whatever…

I’d better get going on those astrology charts that I have to make notes upon.  I just wanted to blog that I’m making progress with this time thing… but its not been easy.